Page 21 of Restored Dreams

“Do you?” she asks. “What do you do that makes you happy?” I have to think about it and find no immediate answers. I work. For years, I looked after Pop, the business, Hank, and Chopper. With Pop gone, Hank solidly on his own feet, and Chopper itching to leave the house, the business is the only thing left for me. The garage isn’t fun.

“I don’t know.” And that’s the truth. I don’t know what would make me happy, or be exciting, or even just pleasant for a day.

“What about surfing?” Lily asks as if reading my mind again.

“Okay, there’s that, but I hardly get to do it.”

“What about spending time with Chopper?” Something in her voice hesitates, and I shake my head behind her.

“He’s getting too old to be with his old man.” The thought makes me sad. I don’t often consider how much I enjoy my son until he isn’t present, and lately, he’s been very absent, taking classes and trying to find his way in the world.

“What about…?” When the pause lasts too long, I sense she’s changed her mind about asking what’s next on her list.

“Ask,” I tease.

“What about playing Scrabble?” I only take a second to consider it before a smile breaks on my face.

“Yeah, Lily. That was fun.” Her shoulders relax, and I press a quick kiss to her there. I recall teaching her how to surf, swiping batter on her chest, and the sex we’ve had. “I think being here with you has been the most fun I’ve had in years. Possibly ever.” I hold my breath after I speak, afraid I’ve said too much.

“Me too,” she whispers, raising my hand to her lips and kissing my knuckles. I snuggle into her, knowing I’ll never get her close enough. “Maybe we can play again.”

The suggestion makes me chuckle. “I’d love to play with you anytime, Lily.”

And I would. Board games. Sex games. I’m willing to participate in anything with her as long as I feel like I do at this moment. Being with Lily is…fun.

+ + +

We sleep with the sound of rain peppering the back deck. The gray day keeps the room dim as we cuddle on the couch. We remain naked, and when I wake, I run my hand over the outline of her body. She isn’t overly curvy as much as her body is firm. She takes care of herself, and I appreciate the work she’s done to stay fit. Her breasts are large for her size and fill my hands, which means they’re plenty big. My mouth waters to be filled with them.

But there’s more than just her body.

I’ve heard my brother say “I more you” to his wife. It’s a secret code between them, yet I suddenly know what it means. I want more of Lily. Her body. Her heart. Her soul.

She shivers under my stroking. “That tickles,” she says in a groggy voice. Another sound I want to hear every day.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay. I need to pee.” She groans as she stretches upward. “That might have been too much information.”

“Maybe.” I laugh as I move the arm she slept on and squeeze my fist to get the blood flowing again. I watch Lily’s backside as she stands and then she reaches for my T-shirt on the floor. Covering herself in my clothing, I stare as she rakes her fingers through her chin-length hair.

“You’re so beautiful, Lily.” The words tumble out, and I like the crook of her lips as she looks back at me.

“So are you.” Her smile widens, and she steps out of my view for the bathroom. When she returns, she sits on the ottoman facing me. The blanket rests low on my hips but doesn’t contain the stiffy growing the longer she looks at me like she is. This. This is the look I want. Longing. Yearning. Maybe loving.

“What’s on your bucket list, Brut?”

“My bucket list?” I scoff.

“You know, your list of things you want to accomplish in life. More than a list of fun, but things you want to achieve. Maybe things that would be fun to achieve.”

“I guess I haven’t thought about it,” I lie, rubbing a hand over my hair as I lie on my back. I’m sure it’s standing up, but I don’t care. I feel Lily watching me as I stare up at the ceiling. “I wanted to be a teacher.”

Her voice softens. “History, right?”

I twist to look at her. Her memory is impeccable, and something pinches in my chest. She knew I was taking classes part time but talking about my studies was the last thing on my mind when Lily was near me. It all fell to shit around the time we broke apart.

“Tell me more. Which history?”