Page 30 of Restored Dreams

I roll my head to her empty pillow and then twist my body to caress the cool covering. I have my answer instantly. No. No, this is not only sex for me. I wake missing her. I smell her scent on my skin and in the sheets, and I ache for her. It’s not just my lower appendage’s longing, either. I want her.

One week, she muttered last night. Does she think that’s all I want? Does she not see that, in the course of one day, I want all things with her? Everything and beyond.

I spin lazily from the bed, stretching before reaching for my shorts on the floor. Another chuckle escapes as I recall her wild maneuvers to remove them. Her feet are wicked talented. Crossing to the double doors facing outside, I see another glorious day of sunshine. It’s a welcome reprieve from a day of rain at the beach. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed every second of yesterday, but I feel itchy to get out and do something. Lily and I need some time outside our bubble. I need to prove we are more than the space inside this house.

As I stand at the door, eyes roving over the sand, I see Lily stretching and twisting in rhythmic movements. Arms extended, she turns her head slowly to one side; her moves are graceful and purposeful. Is she doing yoga? The methodical movements and thoughtfully timed pauses hint she might be.

I return to my room to retrieve a T-shirt and head to the first floor. Coffee awaits me in the machine, and I help myself to a cup, sipping slowly as I walk across the deck. Dang, I note, even her coffee is delicious. I set my mug on the railing after another sip and cross the sand to her setup.

“You weren’t in bed this morning.” The words burst forth sharply because a strange hum under my skin lingers from her absence. I don’t like waking to find her gone. I cross my arms, emphasizing I’m upset.

“Good morning,” she says, not breaking her pose. “I didn’t want to wake you.”

“I didn’t want to wake alone.” Her head snaps in my direction, and her brows pinch.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Suddenly, I’m concerned because I suffer from lack of sleep at times. My mind races with all the things I need to do, all the things I didn’t complete, and all the things I should have done.

“Just woke early,” she amends, shrugging as she shifts to a new pose. “It happens. Insomnia, I guess.”

With all the sexual energy we expelled yesterday, I was exhausted by the time we went to bed. Lily curled into me, her head on my chest for a while before she slipped off me. I’ve slept alone for a long time, and I don’t know that I can sleep with someone on me, but once she moved away from me, I missed her touch. I followed the curl of her body and wrapped an arm over her back as she moved to her stomach. She must have sensed my need for closeness because her foot hooked over my ankle as if she sought me in her sleep. At least, that’s what I told myself when it happened.

“Whatcha thinking about?” I assume her insomnia comes from racing thoughts, like mine. The past popped up last night. Was she thinking of unspoken things?

“I just find the older I get, the less I sleep. If I have six hours, I count it as a good night. Maybe it’s the bakery. I’m used to waking early.” She elongates her arm, curves her hand upward, and straightens her body. Her blue eyes hit me, and I want to crumple to the sand from the intensity. I reach out for a loose hair and curl it over her ear.

“I’m sorry I snapped,” I mutter, feeling repentant for more than just my tone this morning. Not willing to get any heavier with my emotions, I amend myself. “Good morning.” Then I kiss her.

A silent prayer escapes me.

Lord, let me wake every day to this woman, and I promise to kiss her like this in greeting.

Lily pulls back first, slowly, lingering. Her soft grin grows to a sheepish smile. She’s so fucking pretty.

“Let’s do something today,” I blurt. “Go out for a bit.”

“Really?” Her smile develops to a full beam, and I’ll do anything as long as she keeps looking at me like that.

“Sure. What did you want to do besides hang at the beach? Was there somewhere you wanted to go in the area? Someplace you wanted to see?” We aren’t far from San Diego. “There’s plenty of shopping, more surfing, hiking, sightseeing, cave kayaking—”

“We could go to the zoo?”

Say what? I’m going to fall into the bad parent category and admit I’ve never been to the zoo. Never took Chopper. Never signed up to chaperone when the school went on an educational visit. For some reason, the concept of caged animals reminds me of myself. Trapped. Confined. Enclosed in a space I didn’t want to be. The garage is my exhibit.

“Orrrrr not.” Lily’s excitement falters as her brows pinch. Her hands have found their way to my chest, smoothing over my T-shirt in her enthusiasm, but her palms stop stroking. My fingers come to her wrists, encircling them and lifting one palm to my lips.

“The zoo sounds great.”

“We can do something else,” she begins. “Something you want to do instead—”

My thumb on her lip stops her from speaking. “Going to the zoo with you is what I want to do.” And I find I mean it. I want to spend the day with her in any capacity. So, the zoo it is.

19

Caged animal

[Lily]