Page 34 of Restored Dreams

“It’s not uncomfortable,” she says, chewing at her lips as her eyes return to her lap. “It’s too comfortable.”

“Lil?” I don’t want to scare her, but is she saying what I think? Does she feel the same way as I do? I find it comforting to be in bed with her, too. It feels right. I don’t know how things will be in a few days when we return north, but I know I don’t think I can sleep without her ever again.

She doesn’t respond to the question in her name. Instead, she leans forward to kiss me. At first, her hands cover my jaw, fingertips rubbing at the scruff while she deepens the kiss.

“I think you want me in bed in the mornings because you have an issue.” Before I can respond, she’s gone into distraction tactics, and her feet come to my waist, pressing down my shorts. The length of me, stiff and hard, is on display. We need to talk, but something in her eyes tells me not to speak. She scoots to the edge of the chair, her legs on either side of my hips, and suddenly, the center of her meets the heat of my dick. Bare. Raw. Ready. Lily’s hand comes between us, and she positions my tip at her core.

“Lily?” I question again, but she simply shakes her head, then slides forward, drawing me into her depths. Her mouth comes to mine, ravenous and demanding, and my body kicks in despite the unspoken weight between us. I scoop my forearms under her knees, lifting her lower legs to my shoulders. She grunts as her body curls, and I use the arms on the chair to leverage upward. I’m in a near plank position as I piston into her, thrusting in rapid, short jabs. Lily has slipped to her back, her ankles by my ears. Her eyes focus on mine, but the intensity is too much. I turn to kiss her calf as my hammering deepens.

Let me in, I demand with each movement forward. I want back into your heart.

There’s a hesitation between us. I feel it, and I put it there, but her body…her body doesn’t hold back. She’s meeting me pulse for pulse, groaning my name as her hands come to the arms of the chair. Lily has strength, and she uses the solid arms to roll upward. Within seconds, she screams my name, milking me so hard I see stars. I explode inside her. I can’t seem to stop. I’m coming and coming and coming, filling her with my seed.

Let me in, I beg. Take me back.

I finally still, but our chests drag and drop. Ragged breaths fill the silence between us. I hover over her although one of her legs has slipped down my arm. My arms shake, and I collapse to my elbows, unwilling to pull out of her yet unable to move.

“What was that?” I chuckle softly, feeling myself jolting within her.

“Good morning,” she whispers, leaning up to kiss me too quickly.

It certainly is a good way to start the morning, but I’m also sensing she’s telling me something else. Something I won’t like.

+ + +

Lily says she’s going to read for a bit after we clean up. I’m too antsy to sit still and decide to go surfing. I’m too on edge and can’t find my groove, so I fall one too many times. It’s not my balance but my concentration. Our rapid morning sex felt more like a desperate goodbye than a morning greeting. Eventually, I give up on the waves and rest on the edge of the shore.

“Hey, old man, come play.” A guy bouncing a volleyball with his fists calls out to me. A few of the younger set have teased me about my skill on the board despite my age, but it’s all in jest. I stand slowly, wiping sand from my quick-dry swim shorts. I should head back to the house, but I’m not ready to face Lily. I don’t know what we’re doing. Something lingers between us like a fine mist, though I’m pretty certain I know what it is. The past. I can’t take any of it back, and I’m sensing Lily can’t let it go either even though she said she forgives me.

“Sure, I’ll play,” I decide, knowing full well I’m using the game as a stall tactic. I can’t face her saying goodbye to me too soon. We still have three more days.

The game is rough at first. I haven’t played beach volleyball in years, but slowly, a rhythm comes back to me. Bump. Set. Spike. We play four on four, and I enjoy the competition as we tease one another within our team. It’s been a long time since I’ve hung with guys of any age. I don’t have many friends outside Hank and the mechanics who work at the garage. Our game isn’t a scene from Top Gun, but healthy male bodies on the beach can’t be dismissed, and it doesn’t take long for a crowd to start building around us. I’ve gone up for a block when I hear my name.

“Nice save, Brut.” Her sweet cheer turns my head. How long has Lily been standing there?

I’m not paying attention to the game but taking in her pink Because Cupcakes baseball cap and the skirt like material at her waist accentuating her bikini body when I’m knocked in the head with the ball.

“Come on, old man. Keep your head in the game.”

I wink at Lily and turn back as a man around my age on the other team comments. “I’d be distracted by that, too.” His rough voice and deep laugh sets me off. The next ball that comes to me gets spiked right at him. The crowd goes crazy as my teammates hiss and clap with a resounding, “Oh,” and, “Take that.”

“You got this, boys,” filters to me again from Lily, but I keep my focus. We need one last point.

It’s my serve. I haven’t jump served in years, but wanting to show off a little, I attempt it. Two steps, a short leap, and a hard smack, and the ball goes to the back, left corner of the makeshift court. Game point. The crowd goes wild again, and my teammates rush me with claps on the back and high fives. A few well-wishers watching also step onto the court and pat me, but I’m distracted, searching for Lily.

Finding her in the crowd, I jog up to her. Adrenaline still courses through my body with the win, but my heart bumps with excitement that she watched me play.

“Did you see that?” I clench my fists and tug my arms to my waist with excitement.

“I saw it,” she says. “You were amazing.” She chews her lip as her loose hair blows in the breeze despite her ballcap. She looks adorable.

“What are you doing here?”

“When you didn’t come back, I thought I’d come down here to find you.” There’s more to her statement. Was she waiting on me? I’m covered in sweat and sand from the game, but I want to hug her for coming to me. My eyes roam over her pink cap and the light material draped at her waist.

“Can that get wet?” I ask. Her eyes narrow, and her head tilts.

“Yes, but—”