Page 49 of Restored Dreams

“Okay. I’ll be there in an hour.” Relief envelops my shoulders. I don’t want to betray him, but there’s someone who needs to know what’s going on. I inhale for courage and resolve to call Brut after I hang up with Chopper.

27

Reaching out

[Brut]

The shop phone rings. Yes, we still have a landline although Midge has been trying to convince me it would be cheaper to use a cell phone for the business line. It’s after hours, and I shouldn’t answer it. We have a service that collects the messages, but when it rings a second time within a matter of seconds, something tells me to pick up.

“Restored Dreams,” I bark, annoyed before any conversation has begun. I need to go home. I’ve been spending too many hours in the garage, hoping it will keep my mind distracted from the clusterfuck of my life at the moment. The loss of Lily. The discovery she knows my son. The news of Lauren.

I don’t know how to feel about Lauren’s prognosis. I have no feelings when it comes to her, yet I don’t wish death upon anyone. Selfishly, I want her to live, knowing her son had a decent life without her. I want her to know he was happy, healthy, and cared for by a loving parent, if only one. Privately, I want him to refuse to see her, but I’ve heard Chopper tell Hank his plans. He’s going tomorrow to see Lauren…with Lily.

I’m upset he didn’t ask me, but then again, I don’t know how I would handle it. Twenty-two years ago, that woman ruined my life in some aspects. I instantly remind myself she enriched it as well by giving me Chopper. Even more so, she completed it when she disappeared. I shiver when I think we might have shared custody. I would have been tethered to Lauren Warren for the rest of my life. It wasn’t always easy to raise a son alone, and I don’t think it was great he didn’t have a mother, but I can’t say I wish she’d been present. I fear the influence she would have had on him.

“Brut?” I startle at the female voice, soft and hesitant, through the phone.

“Lily pad.” I exhale her name in a strange sense of relief although I don’t know why. I’ve resolved to let the whole lot of Warren women go. Lily kept things from me and while I could beat myself up for keeping things years ago, that was the past. The deception with Chopper is more relevant, more immediate. Mostly, I’m hurt she’s had a relationship with my son for the past seven years and hasn’t included me.

Silence falls between us until I remember she called me.

“What’s up?” I ask too casual, too flippant, as if I couldn’t care less that she’s called, but my heart hammers in my chest, knocking on the inner wall and scolding me for being a dick.

“Chopper called me.”

“Oh, yeah?” Sarcastic again, but now my heart pinches. I’m jealous, I admit it. In the past week, my world with my son has turned upside down. A decent relationship has twisted to nonexistent.

“He told me Lauren died.” The words hang between us, a weight dropped to a solid thud, like a door closed too hard.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” A strange sense of feeling nothing surrounds me, like when a customer mentions their spouse’s mother’s cousin died. It’s sad news, but it doesn’t affect me. Death is sad. Cancer sucks. But I didn’t know Lauren even twenty plus years ago. She was the sister of my sexy secret, who seduced me when I was drunk and vulnerable and stupid.

I want to ask why she’s telling me, why Chopper didn’t call me, but I bite my tongue, the bitterness filling my mouth.

“Well, thanks for letting me—”

“Chopper’s just driving around. I’m worried he’s drinking. I asked him to come here, to talk, to hang out, and I thought…I thought I’d let you know, in case you worried.”

I rub at my forehead. I am worried, but more so, I want him to come to me. Still, I appreciate what Lily’s doing, and I exhale in relief. At least he’s safe if he goes to her.

“Thanks for letting me know.” I have so much more I want to say, but I hold my tongue. Again, I’m ready to dismiss Lily. If I don’t, I’ll end up begging her to explain things to me. I want to understand—How did things get so out of control? How did I lose her so quickly?

“If you want…you could come here, too. I can’t promise a party, but we could just be here for Chopper. I told him I’d even let him make cupcakes.”

I snort. “Haven’t you already taught him how?” Admittedly, I’m a little upset to learn he did something with her without me. Something important to her, like baking cupcakes. A vision of Chopper in my kitchen as a child comes to mind—scooping out ingredients and dumping them into a bowl—only added to the visual is Lily, and she’s laughing. I miss her sounds. Shaking my head, I rid my mind of things that never were.

“Nope.” She giggles without humor. “I just didn’t know what else to offer him.”

“Well, thanks, Lil. I’m sure he’ll enjoy the distraction.” Instantly, I recall Lily making cupcakes at the beach house and how we got distracted together, smoking out the kitchen. Then I remember the night I frosted her neck and nipples. Caramel will never be the same to me. I’m hard in a second and curse myself.

“Okay, yeah, he said he’d be here in an hour. I can call you again if I think things look bad, like he’s drunk or something.”

“Maybe we could just have a code for it.” My lip curls as the words leave my mouth, and I wait to hear if Lily recognizes what I’d said. It takes a second, and then she snorts. The nasally, dismissive sound stiffens me, and I have to lean back in my chair due to the uncomfortable strain behind my zipper. Damn it, I miss her.

“I’ll keep you posted, unless, again, you want to come here.” There’s something in her invitation, and I want to believe she wants me present, but I can’t give in. Anger still lingers under my skin. Only, once we hang up, I find myself reaching for my keys, already knowing where my SUV is going to lead me.

28

Because cupcakes