Page 51 of Restored Dreams

“I have something to tell you.”

Both Chopper and my head whip up to Brut. He lowers his head, twirling the shot glass between his fingers.

“I have a story to tell you.”

“I’m a little old for story time,” Chopper snarks. I still grip Brut’s forearm, and I see Chopper’s eyes trained on my hold. I slowly release Brut who watches my fingers slip from his skin.

“Well, this is a story I should have told you a long time ago.” Brut takes his shot, lowering the glass with a gentle tap on the steel. To my surprise, Chopper slides back onto the stool.

“When I was twenty-three, I loved a girl.”

My breath hitches, and Chopper’s eyes shift to me.

“She was full of promise. Excitement. The world ahead of her. And her laugh. God, her laugh was the best sound in the world.”

I feel myself trembling.

“Lauren was like that?” Chopper interjects, and both Brut and I glance over at him.

“Not your mother,” Brut clarifies. “I’ve already told you before, what happened between your mother and I was a one-night decision.” Brut peers at his son, and I sense there’s a whole conversation I’m not understanding. “I’m talking about your mother’s sister.”

It takes Chopper a second before his face morphs, registering my relationship with his mother. Confusion scribbles over his expression as he looks from his father to me and back. “Lily.” My name whispers between us all.

“She was younger than me. Nineteen. So pretty. So sexy,” Brut adds, and I watch as Chopper makes a face. “She had plans and so did I. I wanted to be a teacher, maybe a professor one day. But I lost my scholarship, and my pop couldn’t afford the tuition. He’d run our shop into the ground, and his drinking was taking him down as well.” Brut swipes through his hair as he looks up at his son.

“I wanted to give this girl her dreams. Be her everything and beyond. I lost focus. For one night, I lost focus.” Brut sighs.

“Lauren,” Chopper mutters. His brows pinch, and he glares at his dad. “Your girlfriend’s sister?” His voice echoes through the kitchen, bouncing off the steel and ricocheting back at us. Brut holds his head high, but his shoulders bear the weight of so many things.

“I regret every moment of that decision, and it changed the course of my history.”

Chopper watches his father until I witness him suck in a breath.

“But that means I—”

“Am the only positive thing from that night, and you are one of the best parts of my life.”

Tears fill my eyes at the admission Brut has given his son.

“You are the only thing I have never regretted.”

I swallow back the lump in my throat and quickly swipe at my eyes.

“But I could have been her son.” Chopper points at me, and I turn my head to Brut, wondering what he’ll say next.

“You would have never been her son. You would have been someone else, or actually no one at all without Lauren. And because I’d never give you up, give up who you are because of us, I don’t ever wish for you to be anyone else’s.”

What Brut says makes total sense to me. If we had children, they would have been a different combination of genes and personality, which means scientifically speaking, Chopper wouldn’t be Chopper even if we named a son the same name. It doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have raised this boy as my son if Brut had asked me to. No, Chopper was destined to be who he is because of who his parents were. I understand the reasoning, but Chopper still struggles.

“How could you do that to her?” Chopper questions.

“I’ve asked myself the same question for twenty-two years.”

My heart rips at the honesty.

“How can you even look at him?” Chopper directs to me, his face horrified by what he’s learned. “It had to have hurt like nothing else.”

“It did hurt, more than I can ever describe.” My eyes shift to Brut who has closed his. His fingers curl to fists as they rest on the steel table. “But it’s called forgiveness, honey. I had to forgive them, if for no other reason than to allow myself to move on.”