Page 57 of Restored Dreams

“On your knees, on the bed.” I step over to the bed, ready to step out of my heels, but Brut groans again to keep them on. He’s turned on by the black lace over my ass and the black bra, and he’s making me feel sexy by leaving it all on. I kneel at the edge of the mattress, spreading my thighs as I hear the release of his belt and the shimmy of his pants hitting the floor. He slips his shirt over his head in one tug and steps forward. He forces aside any lace obstructing him. Holding himself, he drags between my seam, down to my entrance. He’s working me up again, and I press back, eager for him.

“Do you have any idea how sexy you look like this?” he says, reminding me again how much he likes me, at least me in the sex kitten position. I arch my back and stretch my arms like the kitty cat he wants me to be, and that’s all it takes before he slides into me—slow, deliberate, filling. He continues until he’s to the hilt, and then he slips back, torturing me with a leisurely tug-of-war that makes me ache. My body begs to keep him inside as he drags himself back. After a few moments of push and pull, his patience breaks. His pace quickens, and our skin slaps as he pummels into me.

Holding both my hips, he grunts with each thrust, working harder, deeper, faster.

“God, I’ve missed you, Lily pad.” His voice stammers as his movements chop the rhythm.

“Get there again,” he commands, his tone steadier despite the hurried motions. I don’t know if I can, but before I speak, his fingers come around my hip and delve over folds slick and needy. Within seconds, I’m screaming his name, pushing back to force him deeper, afraid of losing this feeling, this connection, him. As I’m slowly falling to pieces once again, fluttering to the bed with my release, he pulls out and flips me over.

Tugging at my thighs, he lowers so his knees hit the edge of the bed and impales me once again. I cry out at the difference in sensation. Brut holds each leg under my knees, rocking into me, watching himself enter my body and disappear.

“This is how it always should be,” he says, staring at himself frosted with me, coating him so we work like a well-oiled machine. His eyes move up my body to my face. “Everything and beyond.”

Right now, I almost believe we could have everything and beyond like he mentions. I can pretend this is how it’s always been. My mind races back to the image of him coming home from a day at school and me undressing after a social party. I allow myself to fall into make-believe for a few more minutes.

Brut reaches a pulsing orgasm, pushing me near the edge again as he fills me. He collapses over me when he finishes, covering me like a blanket. His weight pins me in place, and I take it as if I could hold this moment forever. Everything and beyond. But just as quickly, he stands, pulling out of me, and picks up his boxer briefs. He enters my bathroom as the door is just next to the nightstand and returns with a towel. I can’t move and realize I’m still wearing my shoes.

Brut helps me sit up and then squats down to slip off my heels. It’s supposed to be the other way around. The prince glides on the glass slipper, not removes it. But I don’t believe in fairy tales, and our night is only a fantasy.

Brut reaches for the covering on my bed and pulls it back, implying I should crawl in, which I do. I’m suddenly exhausted and satiated but finding the bone weariness quickly returning.

“Brut,” I whisper in question as he folds himself behind me.

“Don’t think. Not yet.” The command reminds me of the beach house. We’re going to need to think eventually, sooner rather than later.

+ + +

I wake to find I’m alone in my bed. I roll to my other side to see Brut standing next to the mattress, staring down at me. He’s dressed with his hands in his pockets.

“I thought the rule was you weren’t allowed to leave the bed in the morning.”

Brut chuckles softly, lowering his head, and I know what’s coming. The end. My heart races as I consider the way we were last night. It appears the final moment has come.

I reach out my hand, and Brut lowers to squat next to the bed. We keep our eyes on one another.

“Thank you,” I whisper, working to keep my voice steady.

Thank you for a second chance at the first time.

Thank you for making me feel alive and sexy.

Thank you for a dance in the rain and making love under the moonlight.

“Why do I feel like you’re saying goodbye?” Brut lowers his lips to cover my knuckles.

“Aren’t you?” My question lingers between us, and when he doesn’t look up, I have my answer. “I want to be there for Chopper, but I don’t want us to be in the way. We had a second helping, Brut. The vacation was a little cupcake carved from the larger cake of life. It was sugar sweet and delicious, but now it’s been devoured. I’m satisfied and full and—”

“Can’t move on without you,” he mumbles into my skin.

“You will, Brut. You did before.”

“Jesus, Lily.” His head shoots up, and his brows pinch. His eyes glisten. I don’t mean to be cruel, just honest. “Why are you doing this?”

Because I’m scared. Because I’m terrified you’ll leave me again after I’ve given you everything…and beyond.

“I think Lauren’s death was a sign. She’s come along again while we were together and torn things apart. It’s a message from a higher power that we aren’t meant to be everything and beyond. More like once upon a time…”

“You don’t really believe that?” His blue eyes shine despite the dimness in my apartment. No, no, I don’t, I want to say, but I don’t know how else to protect myself. I’m overwhelmed with the sense I’ll lose Brut if I give into him again, and I find the only way to save myself is to let him go.