Page 64 of Restored Dreams

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Lily sleeps in my bed, and I sit watching her from a chair I pulled up next to it. For all the fantasies of her being in my place, this isn’t how I envisioned it happening. She’s curled around a pillow which seems to be her custom for comfort. I recall her doing such a thing on our vacation. She’s a stomach sleeper, and I don’t mind as long as she lets me wrap an arm over her. At the moment, she lies on her side, and I notice once again her lush breasts, fuller as they are exposed under my T-shirt. I assured Lily earlier that I’d go back to her place when we were allowed in and retrieve some of her belongings.

She let me undress her and redress her like a child. I wondered if she wanted a shower or possibly a bath, but her lids closed, signaling her exhaustion. She appears drained of energy and purpose, but I don’t believe she’s defeated. She’ll resurface to be the survivor I know, but for tonight, she needs to process. She needs pampering, and I’m here to pamper. She’s a wonder, and I marvel at her resilient strength. She’ll get through this—we’ll get through this—but not tonight.

“Brut,” she whispers in the dark. It’s after midnight, and I can’t sleep. I’m still too wound from the paranoia of something happening to her—something extreme, something life-ending. I don’t want to imagine such things, but my brain won’t shut off. I can’t lose her. And once again, I recognize my chance is here, whispering, waiting. Like Midge admonished me, I need to stop stalling. Tick-tock. If I had lost Lily, if it had been too late… I shudder with the thought, but still, I don’t want to consider if I never had this second time with her. What if.

No more waiting, I decide.

“What, sugar?” I’ve been sipping whiskey to release the demons and loosen my brain, so I’ll eventually sleep. I notice her eyes open in the dark room.

“Thank you for coming to get me.”

I lean forward, setting my glass on the nightstand and balancing my elbows on my thighs. “You don’t need to thank me for anything. I’ll always come when you call.” Although she didn’t call me for this emergency. How could she? If I hadn’t seen the television report, would she have reached out for me? I don’t ask these probing questions, wanting again to let her process what’s happened. I also don’t want to turn things around to me and my emotions. I need to think of her.

Her hand reaches across the space between us, lingering in the air a moment as her fingers wiggle in my direction. I quickly clasp them in my hand and raise them to brush my lips over her knuckles. I linger, a wave of relief I’ve struggled with all day suddenly crashing over me. My eyes close, and I swallow the lump in my throat. There’s so much to say but not tonight.

“Brut, honey.” She pauses. “Will you lay next to me?”

My heart leaps to my throat, choking along with the lump there. This woman is about to bring me to tears.

“I’d do anything for you, Lily pad. Anything.” My eyes open slowly to find the intensity of hers glistening in the darkness. I kiss her knuckles once again and stand quickly. My shoes and socks are already gone, so I shuck off my jeans and remove my shirt. Climbing over her, I’m careful of her legs and wrap my arm over her waist. She doesn’t curl into me but allows me to curve around her. This is where I want to be. This is where I want her to stay. Forever.

35

Handle with care

[Lily]

I wake wrapped around Brut. Literally. During the night, I shifted in my sleep and burrowed my head into his chest, hoping to drown out the sound of the brick breaking the window. The sound ricochets in my mind, and I recall thinking the building was going to crumble. I press against him, scared, but I wake against him…horny.

With one leg hitched over Brut’s hip, I rut against him like a shameless dog. I’d like to think I was dreaming, but I’m awake.

“Lily pad,” Brut whisper.

“Oh God, Brut,” I mutter, embarrassed by my behavior but unable to remove my leg from over his body. My achy breasts press against his firm chest, and I realize once again how they’ve grown. Brut’s hand comes to my hip, slipping under the T-shirt he dressed me in last night.

“What’s going on here?” he questions. He’s not complaining, just confused. I’m confused. I don’t know why I’m acting like this, but I can feel Brut’s hard-on, and I want at him. What am I doing?

“I just need…” I pause, retracting my leg, but he catches the underside of my thigh.

“Tell me,” he demands, and then he tugs my thigh, drawing me against him. I moan. No shame.

“This,” I purr.

“This?” he teases, slipping his hand farther under the tee and cupping the weight of one breast. He squeezes, and I moan, arching my back, forcing the heavy globe into his palm.

“Yes, please.”

“Or this?” He brushes his hand down my body, traveling my curves until he slips a hand into my underwear, grabbing my ass to pull me toward him.

I groan again until he drags a finger over the wetness at my core. I’m on the verge of losing my mind, and then he stops.

“Brut,” I whimper, tears prickling my eyes. I’ve been a hot mess of horniness, increased by the pregnancy.

“Lily, I won’t deny you anything. But first, I think we need breakfast.”

Noooo, my head screams, and the rejection stings. But Brut is right. I haven’t eaten in twenty-four hours, and maybe food will add perspective. However, I haven’t seen Brut in a month, and I’m practically ravenous for him. I nod, and Brut kisses my forehead, waiting. He’s letting me decide because in my heart, I know Brut will have sex with me if I want him to, but I’m sensing something holds him back, and he wants me to agree. We need breakfast…and I need to tell him things before anything else happens between us.