Page 71 of Restored Dreams

“What do you mean?” I ask, spinning on my brother before I near the grill.

“Tell me this isn’t just Brut doing what Brut does, taking care of things. Tell me you asked her romantically. Tell me this is what your heart wants.”

“What the fuck?” I still face off to my younger brother who’s bigger than me, but I’m ready to take him out in the yard like we did as kids.

“Well?” Hank waits, crossing his thick arms.

“I don’t owe you an explanation,” I say, reaching for another beer inside the cooler set next to the grill. I filled the cooler to keep the steaks at a steady temperature and placed a six-pack under the ice. I pop the top and practically pour the beer down my throat.

“No, you don’t, but you owe that woman everything. You do realize she doesn’t need to marry your sorry ass.”

“What the fuck?” I say again, glaring at my brother.

“I know you like to take care of things. It’s in your nature to delegate and control, but that’s an independent woman in there, and I have no doubt she can raise a baby alone.”

“Do you think that’s what she wants?” I swallow at the thought. I don’t want her doing it alone. I want to be with her.

“No. I think, by some grace of God, she still loves you like she did all those years ago. She certainly looks at you the same way, like you walk on water. But something’s missing in this scenario, Brut. You’re doing the right thing, but are you doing it for the right reasons?”

“What in God’s name are you saying?” He’s talking in riddles, and it’s adding to my piss-poor mood.

“Do you love her?”

“Of course, I love her,” I stammer, my voice rising.

“Does she know that?”

“What the…?” I stop. Does she? Have I told her? She hasn’t said anything like that to me, but I feel it. I feel how she looks at me, like Hank said. She looks at me like she did when we were young. I hung the moon for her, but only because she looked at me like she wanted me to. She knows this.

“Brut, you can’t be this dense.” Hank runs fingers through his hair. “And this wedding thing. What’s the rush?”

“I want her as my wife.”

“Then do it properly.”

“I am,” I yell, downing the rest of my beer. “This is how you did it,” I remind him.

“Don’t compare yourself to Midge and me. Our situation was different. I’ve waited twenty years for love like Midge, and I didn’t want to wait any longer. She also had other things in place, like her sons. We couldn’t live together comfortably. Midge has already had a wedding, and she didn’t need the formality.”

“Lily doesn’t need it either.”

“Brut, man.” Hank stares at me, and I don’t get it. “Lily’s agreeing with you, but this is her first time.”

“Mine too,” I remind him again.

“Then do it right for you, too.”

I sigh, reaching for the back of my neck and cupping my hand around the nape. “I am. I want to marry her. I want her to be my wife.” I pause, roaming over my brother’s face. “I’ve waited a long time, just like you, Hank. I didn’t have the interim relationship like you.” The jab at Hank’s past with Kit Carrigan hits below the belt, but he needs to understand. “I’ve been waiting my whole life for a second chance with the one who got away. And now she’s sitting in my kitchen with my baby in her.”

“Then do it right, now that she’s willing to stay.”

I stare at my brother more confused than ever. Isn’t that what I’m doing? I asked her to stay, and she said yes. We’re getting married. We’re having a baby. What am I missing?

37

Love is a necessary ingredient

[Lily]