Page 80 of Restored Dreams

Brut makes a funny face. “Shhh, don’t let her know I agree with her on something.” Brut’s still stroking back my hair, and I smile weakly at him.

“Look, I know we have a lot to discuss, and I don’t want to upset you, but I have a few things to say now. Maybe it will take the stress away.” He takes a deep breath. “We don’t have to get married if you don’t want to.”

“I do, I just—”

“Let me finish, okay? You laid a lot out on me yesterday morning, and I didn’t have the chance to defend some of it.”

“I’m sorry,” I interrupt again, and a finger comes to my lips.

“There’s no rush to marry. In fact, if you prefer to live together, that’s fine. I understand you’re a modern, independent woman, and maybe you want things differently than I do. I want you to be my wife, Lily pad. I’ve waited a long time, endlessly hoping I’d get a second chance with you, and I feel my prayers have been answered. But I understand you might not feel the same way, and I respect that. I want to respect whatever you think works best. I’d just like to say I think us together would be better than anything separate, but I’ll do what you wish.”

What I wish. How I wish you’d say you loved me? How I wish you’d ask me to marry you and mean it? Instead, I nod.

“I don’t want you to make any decisions right now or even tonight, tomorrow, whenever. I’d like you to come home, though. I want you to be in my house, to make it our house. Together. But I don’t want to pressure you.” He sighs. He’s been plucking at the blanket the entire time he’s spoken, but he reaches for my hand, pulling it to his lips to linger on my knuckles. “Just don’t say it’s the end of us, okay? Please, Lily pad, don’t leave me or tell me to leave you…”

My heart patters to a halt. I don’t want him to walk away. I want him to run toward me. I want the beyond he promises.

“I don’t plan on going anywhere,” I say softly, and Brut’s head shoots upward.

“You’ll come home?” The hopeful strain in Brut’s voice breaks my heart all over again.

“Tomorrow, yes. Tonight, I’m too tired to move. I just want to stay right here.”

Brut lowers his lips to my fingers again. “Of course. We’ll stay right here.” He stands again, reaching down to unlace his boots and then climbs over me, curling around my body.

“I don’t like sleeping without you,” he murmurs into my neck.

“I don’t like sleeping without you, either.”

“Wherever you want to be is where I want to be. I just want to be with you.”

I feel the same and bring his hand up to my lips, kissing it. He kisses the back of my neck. Then his hand lowers to cover my belly, the expanse of his fingers covering from side to side.

“She’s okay?”

“She is.” Brut’s head rolls against the back of mine. I hold my breath for the admonishment I expect from him. Instead, he says something else.

“I love her.” Tears prickle my eyes, and his fingers lightly press over my belly. Goddammit, no more tears. “I’m not used to saying such things, Lily pad.” He pauses as though he’s trying to tell me something more, hint at something deeper.

“She loves you, too.” I have no doubt Brut will be an excellent father, and any child will worship him. Chopper already does.

“If something had happened…” He blows out a breath, warm air tickling my neck. “We’d try again. And again. I’d give you anything, everything you want. I love you, Lily pad.” My heart stops, and my breath hitches. I twist in his arms to look at him over my shoulder.

“You do?” I still, afraid to break the spell of his words, afraid he’ll realize what he’s said.

“Of course, sugar.”

“I wasn’t sure,” I reply, my voice lowering to no more than a whisper as my fingers tighten over his on my belly.

“What?” Hot breath hits my neck before he shifts and presses me by the shoulder to lie on my back. He peers down at me. “How could you not know?”

“You never told me,” I admit honestly.

“Lily.” My name drags out with his exhale. “I loved you when you were nineteen, only I didn’t know how to tell you. And at twenty-four when I saw you in a grocery store, and at thirty-six when you opened the bakery. I’ve never stopped loving you, sugar.”

“Why didn’t you ever tell me? Why didn’t you come back to me?”

“And say what? Sorry I slept with your sister? Oh, and guess what, I got her pregnant and now I’m raising the son she abandoned to me. Want to join me? Want to date me?”