Page 105 of Second Chance

43

Do Apologies Through Social Media Really Count?

[Mati]

Three weeks.

That’s how long Denton has been gone. He never responded to my text.

I didn’t want to say goodbye.

He never called.

Three days.

That’s how long it took before I broke down and searched him on social media.

Post: Enjoying Costa Rica with my girl, Freya.

A beautiful older woman accompanies him in a tropical setting, and I realize she’s the famous Freya Holstrum, a Swedish model, who hardly looks like she’d aged, other than the tight skin at her eyes. My heart sinks. It’s Kristy all over again. For years after Denton left, we’d read about him and saw images splashed across magazines of his success—and his seductions. This actress. That model.

I shouldn’t be upset. I’m the one who snuck out of the room after our night of pleasure. I just thought…I shouldn’t have thought.

“You okay, Coach?” Alyce asks as we stand on the sideline watching the girls run wind sprints. The gym is my reprieve, where I usually lose myself, but today I seem extra aware of Denton’s absence. I should be cursing Tanisha for not touching the line or Hannah for not quite making it to the mark, but I don’t have the energy.

“I’m good,” I lie, not taking my eyes off the gym floor.

“Want to talk about him?” I’m about to ask her who she means, but it seems silly to pretend. Pretend. I simply shake my head. There isn’t anything to say. Denton chose his path like he always has, and I need to focus on mine.

“How was the interview?” Alyce changes subjects.

My head pops up, and I peer over at my assistant coach. “What interview?”

“Come on, Mati. You put me down as a reference.”

“They called you?”

“I think that’s how it works when you apply for a new job.” I hold my breath, but Alyce smiles. “I think you’ll make a great college coach.”

“I don’t know anything yet.” The callback for a second-round interview came a few days after Denton left. With the girls on track for playoffs and a good shot at states, I’m an excellent candidate for Northeastern. At least in my own head.

“You’ll hear from them soon.”

“I don’t want to get my hopes up.” I’ve already done this to myself in more areas than one.

“Well, I’ll keep mine up then.” Alyce pats my arm before she hollers at the girls for cheating as they run.

+ + +

My days continue pretty much the same as they did before Denton. It’s strange to think there is an after-Denton, just like there was an after-Chris. How could I lose both men? Both halves of my heart. I remind myself, I lost Denton long ago. Actually, I never really had him.

Enjoy the ride, Cora told me and using a euphemism of hers, that’s what Denton was—a test drive. Am I ready to drive again? Nope. Not at all, because after-Denton Mati is heartbroken in a totally new way compared to losing Chris. Chris is gone forever. Denton is still out there. Still living, still loving, possibly filling someone else. I shiver with the thought too often as I lay in bed remembering all we did together.

On another Sunday, Cora and I make a visit to Magnolia’s. Not surprisingly, Magnolia is sad. Her house is empty. Dolores has returned to her small home near town, giving herself the distance she needs from the sorrow of the farmhouse.

“It’s quiet,” the older woman says, staring out the window. “No one singing here anymore.” Her screened-in porch is closed off with the decrease in temperature, so we sit inside the parlor. October came with a vengeance. Snow is predicted, and Billy is having a panic attack about what the possibility could mean for our Oktoberfest. We’ve already had the issue with entertainment. Much to Billy’s excitement, we finally received permission to block off Third Avenue between the pub and the bookstore, squashing Roxie from hosting her Booktober event on the same weekend. I have no idea what he has against her.

“What can we do for you?” Cora asks, playing a better visitor than me to Magnolia. My mind keeps wandering up the staircase to a room now vacant. Bodies entangled on a bed. Pretend, he said.