Page 20 of Second Chance

12

Waiting Games

[Denton]

After being in the old high school gym, memories flood my mind of Chris and me. We were all-star athletes—basketball was our game and the gymnasium was like a second home to me. I recall one night in particular, just the two of us after practice, still dribbling, still taking shots. We were waiting on my dad for a ride. I knew he’d be late.

“What do you think of Mati?”

“What do you mean what do I think?” The three of us had been best friends for years, much to her parents’ dismay. Then again, I’d definitely started to notice the change in Mati’s physique, and looking at her caused stirrings in my jeans I shouldn’t be having about one of our best friends. There was also the incident in her room which we didn’t speak of. Mati and I both ignored it as if it didn’t happen. So I lied when I said, “I don’t think anything of her other than her being one of my best friends.”

“What do you think if I ask her out?”

“Where you going?” I ask—dense for a moment—before reality set in. Oh, he meant out-out.

“I thought I’d take her to dinner.” He paused, his eye on the hoop as he shot, but his concentration was off. “It’s been hard with my mom. I just find it easy to talk to Mati.”

Shit, I remember thinking. He wasn’t playing some guilt-card. He really had been upset lately about his mother’s breast cancer diagnosis and I understood all too well how good Mati was at comforting people.

“I like when she holds my hand.”

Shit. Shit.

“Have you kissed her?” I asked, trying to remain calm and still the shaking in my arms. I took another shot at the basket, but the ball wasn’t even close.

“No, but I’d like to. Think that’s a bad thing?”

Yes! “No, but why Mati?”

“Have you seen her lately? She’s hot, but it’s always been more than that. She’s my friend first. One of my best friends.”

I totally understood what he was saying, but still—Mati with Chris?

“Think she’d go out with me? Just the two of us?”

“Didn’t you already go to the movies?” I snap, still a little bitter they went out a few weeks before without me.

“Yeah, but that just happened.” He stops bouncing the ball, tucking it under his arm, and looks over at me. “I want your permission.”

This stumps me. “Why?”

“Because it’s always been the three of us, and I never want to lose either one of you. I just…I just feel this pull to be with her as more than a friend.” He looks away, his cheeks reddening. “Does any of this even make sense?”

Chris had older parents, so speaking about his feelings wasn’t something he was comfortable discussing with them. Any sex information we needed, we got from the Harrington brothers. Of course, that was a little too weird considering Chris might be using the moves we learned on their sister. Then again, I’d done the same thing…and it backfired.

“Yeah, I get it. Go out with her,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Just don’t turn into some sap writing love songs about her and going all kissy face in front of me.” I started kissing the back of my hand, mocking them while remembering my own lips on Mati. I didn’t want to think of them kissing each other but I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t tell him I’d already kissed her, unless she said something, which I didn’t think she had. She’d been as tight-lipped as me about it, pretending it didn’t happen, which was further proof to me she wasn’t interested in me like I was in her.

“I think I’ll leave the love song stuff to you.” He laughed, tossing the ball at me while I was still kissing the back of my hand. He’d recently learned my secret passion—playing the guitar.

“Yeah,” I teased. “I’ll use the two of you as my inspiration.”

I sit up straighter in my seat. How prophetic that moment had been. The love I lost—and had to witness between them—became the basis of many love songs Tommy and I wrote together.

+ + +

The Blue Ridge Microbrewery and Pub wasn’t here when I left, and it’s quite a nod to the modern world compared to some of the other buildings still standing on Main Street. An old two-story storefront, I can’t even remember what was in the original place. The walls have been stripped down to the brick and the hardwood floor finished in a dark brown. Neon signs here and there project some color into the dimness. Music and chatter fill the place packed with people.

I’m sitting at the bar, replaying my conversation with Mati in my head.