Page 30 of Second Chance

“I’m not some chick. I’m one of his best friends.”

“You’re right. You aren’t some chick to him. Maybe that’s why he didn’t want you to go.”

“What does that mean?”

I’d been in my room all day, crying my eyes out over a lost road trip and my disappeared friend. Chris looked away from me, speaking to my bedroom window.

“It means…I just think Denton needed to go out on his own. Pursue his dream. Alone.”

Did Denton think I’d be in the way? He toyed with the idea of starting a rock band with his cousin Tommy, but I never thought he’d do it. We were going to college. His daddy insisted on it. I still didn’t understand. Denton could have told me anything. I would have supported his decision. Hell, I would have gone with him.

“He seemed pretty interested in you,” Hollilyn speaks, and I practically feel the weight of her thoughts.

“Just spit it out,” I snap, knowing she wants to add something.

“He asked if you were dating anyone.” Another pause. “You know, Mati, I don’t think anyone would say anything if you did go out. On a date.”

I rock my head against the circular cushion. It isn’t that I don’t want to date. It’s that I don’t know how or what or who. I don’t know that I have it in me, and yet I know I can’t keep being alone. I’m lonely.

“I don’t care what others think,” I mutter, snarky but muffled by the cushion. It’s not really true. I don’t want to be judged when Chris was practically a hero to this town. Good husband. Best father. Fair lawyer. My worth is not wrapped up in Chris’s achievements, but I also don’t know how to measure myself without him.

I’m saved from responding further to Hollilyn when a knock comes to the front door. It’s Sunday evening, and I’m not expecting anyone. My kids have keys as do their significant others and my parents. I want Hollilyn to ignore it, but she presses upward.

“I’ll just see who it is.” I feel guilty taking advantage of a pregnant woman, but I’m lying on the living room floor wearing only my underwear, a sheet over my lower half, and a body that feels like mush.

The door opens. I hear muffled words. The door shuts. Hollilyn quietly waddles back to me, and warm fingers dig into my back. The pressure is deeper than she gave a moment ago. The pads of her fingertips feeling thicker, firmer, almost callused. I groan under the touch.

“I’ll just let myself out.” Hollilyn’s voice projects from across the room, and I lift my head, swiveling it to see her putting on an overlarge sweater. I twist, clutching the sheet to my chest to find Denton on his knees next to me.