Page 39 of Second Chance

“What do you remember about being young here?” I ask.

“Oh, gosh.” She chuckles softly, and the laughter trembles against my thumb at her throat. A vibration shoots through my arm to another part of me, jolted to life. “I live here, so everything is a memory, but then again, so much has changed.”

I laugh softly as well. “Your son was right. I was a terrible friend,” I say, sobering a little at the flash of old times in my head.

“I’m so sorry again for his behavior. Jax is…he’s so much like me. Hotheaded, quick-tempered, stubborn, angry. But that’s not an excuse. He’s not a child; he’s an adult, which makes it worse. He shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”

“It’s all right.” My fingers release her throat. While I like the comfort of her skin, there’s something holding me back. Mati is Chris’s wife. She has children with him. My hand falls to my jeans and my fingers tap my thigh.

“It’s not all right. Jax and Jordan loved their father. We all did. We all grieve his loss, but it’s time to move on.” Her voice rises with each word. She speaks as if she’s trying to convince herself.

“Can you move on?” I ask, turning my body in the direction of the lake again. I’ve faced death before—my cousin Kit’s, my father’s, currently the state of my mother—but I’ve never lost a spouse, not like Mati.

“Everyone tells me it’s time,” she whispers, and her words wrap around me like the mountain breeze. I twist back to her when I speak. “Time for what, Mati?”

“You to kiss me.”

To say I experience a halt to the world spinning on its axis is an understatement. Everything around me stilled. The sounds in the trees. The lap of the lake. The wind in the air. I stare at her, disbelieving what she said.

“But you don’t have to, if you don’t want—” My fingers in her hair at the edge of her face stop her from speaking. In fact, I think she stopped breathing.

“Relax, Mati,” I encourage, and she visibly lets out a breath. Her eyes lower to close. “Look at me,” I demand, and they snap open. “Do you see me?”

I need to know Mati is aware it’s me standing before her and not Chris. Not some memory of him, some apparition of him, not some wishful thinking to have him. Me. Me.

“I see you, Denton,” she says, and it’s all it takes to lose my self-control. My mouth lands on hers like a man starving in a desert—crash, bang, burn. It’s awkward and sloppy and our teeth clash. I’m making a mess of this as if I’ve never kissed before, and yet this is the second kiss I’ve been waiting for since I was fourteen. Mati pulls back abruptly.

“Well,” she says, rolling her lips inward. Her eyes lose their sparkle in the reflection of the headlights. “That wasn’t what I expected.”

I can’t help myself. I laugh. Leave it to Mati to add more sting to an already sticky moment.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know…that was…” I pause, lowering my forehead to hers as I spread my fingers in her hair, holding her head in place. “That was awful.”

Mati tugs back, the force loosening my fingers and they slide down to her neck, gripping her before she steps away from me. Her face turns away and if I didn’t know better, I’d think I embarrassed her. But this is Mati, right? She doesn’t get frazzled. My brow pinches as my eyes outline the edge of her jaw, the curve of her lips and the point of her nose.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” she replies softly, her head lowering to look at our feet.

“Will you dance with me?”

Remember Ren and Willard in Footloose—the original version? I was Ren. I loved to dance, and Chris didn’t. He not only didn’t know how, he didn’t want to learn. He claimed he had no rhythm, while the beat lived in me. Call it a musician thing, but I love to move, and right now, I need to move with Mati in my arms. Dancing was another connection we had. She loved to dance as well, and while Chris didn’t, he never stopped her from dancing with me. Until one night he did.

“Here?” Mati scoffs, the tension between us loosening a little.

“Right here seems perfect.” I slip an arm around her waist and drag her hand in mine upward to rest between us, pressing her against me. I begin to sway, a beat filling my head.

“Has it been time for other guys to kiss you?” I ask, embarrassed to recall our failure, but curious if she’s kissed others.

“Cora, Alyce, and now Hollilyn are all on the Mati-must-date bandwagon, but I haven’t dated anyone. I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”

I nod as if I understand. “Maybe you just need a little practice. Like a trial period. You know, sample the experience…”

She stops swaying in time with me. “I think I got it.” She sighs, and then she whines. “But not you, too.”

“What do you mean, not me, too?”

“Are you jumping on the get-Mati-laid train?”