Page 64 of Second Chance

“I’ll join you,” Chris says, a slight hiss to his voice.

I follow Chris to a corner of the gymnasium and nab my jacket as I pass our table. The flask is nearly empty, but I take another pull before we reach the dark space. Chris turns on me once we’re covered in the shadows.

“Don’t take her with you.” He rounds on me, the words almost spitting in my face.

“Don’t take her where?”

“On the road trip.”

My mouth falls open, and my eyes bug. He’s got to be kidding. Mati and I have planned this trip for months. I’m shocked her parents agreed, but they trust me with her. Even her older brother James helped coerce them. Ten weeks. Almost as many states. Camping under the stars.

“I could never do that to her.”

“Don’t do it to her. Do it for me.”

“What? Why?”

“I’m asking you not to take her.”

“I heard you the first time, but I still don’t understand.”

“If she goes with you, she’ll never come back.” There’s a plea in his voice, something I don’t recognize. He’s almost whining.

“Of course, she’ll come back. She loves you.” Dismissively, I wave at him.

“Look, I hate to ask. It’s hard to ask.” Chris understands all too well his circumstances. It made him humble which made him an even better person. He was already the town’s golden boy. He made all-conference for basketball and the all-star playoff team. He has straight As. He’s president of the debate club, and he’s going to college—pre-law—on a full-ride scholarship.

I snort. “Are you worried I’ll steal her?” Sarcasm lingers, but she’d never cheat on Chris. I’d never allow her to cheat on Chris.

“Yes.”

My mouth falls open for the second time, and then I straighten, crossing my arms over my chest.

“What’s going on here?”

“I’m not blind, Denton. I know you better than anyone, even her. I see how you feel about her and how you lie to yourself, disappearing into Kristy—”

“You don’t know shit.” Over the years, I’ve had to defend my relationship with Kristy more than I cared to in order to keep up the pretense. I didn’t love her. I liked her well enough, and we had a good time in bed together, but love? The emotion was reserved for only one girl.

“I know you have a talent. I know you’re itching to discover it and be more. You’ll go west, do great things, and never come back, and Mati’ll stick with you because that’s what she does. She’ll fall in love with you for real.”

Fall in love with me? It’s been clear all along Mati loved Chris more. She loved me as the best friend. I’m a little surprised by his sudden show of jealousy. He’s equally kept his feelings close to the chest, never hinting at this feeling.

“Don’t you trust me with her?” Chris’s brow pinches, and he looks away as if he can’t admit his fear. She’ll have more adventure with me—fulfill her wild spirit—but in the end, she’ll want to settle down somewhere. She’s hinted at it with all her talk of college and neighbors and babies in the future. That’s not a life I foresee for myself. I envision small towns, late nights, and lots of road time. Mati would love it, but for how long?

“Denton, be real, man. She’ll want things life on the road won’t provide. Her daddy will only back her so far. You and I both know you need to leave. You’ve got to go, but don’t take her.”

Chris is still the only one who knows my passion—the guitar. He also knows how badly I want out of this town. If I make it—if the band I want to form with my cousin becomes something—Blue Ridge will only be a whisper of a memory to me.

“Even if she went with you, she’d want to come back. This is her home. Maybe it’s why I’ve never said anything before. You take your rides together, but she never runs away with you. She comes home in the end.” She goes to him in the end. I’d be kidding myself to think she’d ever love me like she loved him. I was the best friend, not the boyfriend.

“Do this for me, and it’s the last thing I’ll ever ask.” Again, he’s never asked anything of me. He’s given me his friendship over the years, his unspoken brotherhood. I’d like to think I was doing some noble deed by honoring his request, but I wasn’t. I was being selfish.

“What would I say to her?”

“Tell her you want to go solo.” A weight on his shoulders seems to lift.

“She’ll never believe me.” Not to mention, it’s going to break her heart. Mati doesn’t need to leave Blue Ridge like I do, but she longs to see the world. Did I want to steal her away from him? Most days, yes. In reality, could I? No. What made me so loyal to Chris that I’d leave my soul behind and follow my dream? I was being selfish. He’d been my best friend through thick and thin, but I loved myself more than I loved either of them. I wouldn’t survive any more of this town. I had to go with or without her.