Page 72 of Second Chance

We stare at one another in silence a moment. I’m the first to break away and lower my head to my hands.

“It’s a man, isn’t it?” Her voice rises an octave. “It’s the man from the other night, right?” Her voice has reached an excited screech, and a little clap resounds in the small office. She’s back to herself— cheery McCheerson cheerleader.

“It’s nothing,” I repeat, and I mean it. There’s nothing to say or explain or happening. Just nothing. The thought makes me sad and a little hollow, as I put myself out there and then wanted to scrub myself clean after he spoke to me like he did. After his comment about Chris, he promptly fell asleep. How can men do that? One minute they’re talking, and the next, out cold.

“It’s never nothing with a man. Always something. Always trouble.” Alyce shakes her head as she speaks, and I lift mine to look up at her.

“So much trouble,” I mutter. Whatever Chris did, whatever Denton did, it’s been a long time.

“Mati, you’ve got to give him a chance. You’re out of practice, but—”

“What do you mean, I’m out of practice?”

“I just mean, it’s been a long time since you’ve had to date, put effort into something.”

“Marriage was effort,” I defend, thinking of all the times Chris and I disagreed. We weren’t the Bickersons, but we had our spats and married couple issues—finances and things.

“I’m sure it was, but dating is a different kind of effort.”

“Who says anything about dating?”

Alyce’s brow rises. “Friends-with-benefits is even more complicated. Why do you think that’s a label on social media?”

I’m sitting upright, hands on my knees, blinking at her. “I’m not friends-with-benefitting either.” Does that even make sense?

Alyce giggles. “Okay, look, anything you do, related to any man, from this point forward, is going to be complex. You had a familiarity with Chris. He was your husband. For years,” she emphasizes as if I don’t know this fact. “You’ll be starting from scratch with anyone else. Starting new. The road might be bumpy at first, but the ride is worth the adventure.”

Alyce’s analogy hits harder than she knows. A road. A ride. An adventure. Life would have been all these things if I had been with Denton, but I never considered a life with Denton. Not really. Not until recently. Now, I think of him too much, but he isn’t who I remember, and although I accept that people change, I don’t want the rockstar. I want my friend.

“Maybe I just shouldn’t date.”

Alyce shakes her head again. “Maybe not dating has been your problem. You’re out of practice like I said.”

A subtle knock comes to the door, and we both look up at the window to see Hannah on the other side. Alyce opens the door.

“There’s a man here for Coach Rath. I told him we had closed practices, but he says he has an appointment.”

Alyce turns to me, a brow raised again. “What’s he look like?” she directs back to Hannah.

“Tall and divine.” Her face blushes. “I mean, he looks like a rockstar.”

Alyce nods at Hannah. “We’ll be right out. Tell the girls to run ladders.” Hannah groans but it’s just punishment for the laziness of practice.

Keeping a hand on the door, Alyce turns back to me. “Seems complicated has come a-knocking, Mati. Time to jump at the net,” she teases, using her volleyball euphemisms again.

“I was never a middle,” I correct her, grinning.

“Then dig, girl,” she mocks with the reminder I was a libero, the player in the back, fighting for the ball. I’m used to complicated.

+ + +

I follow Alyce out of the office and walk directly to Denton. He looks mad—flecking hot, but mad. Well, I’m annoyed as well. Last night was a fail in the category of taking care of Denton. I should have held him on the couch, soothed him with words like I did when we were kids. I recall his assumptions about his father—another father. Things were certainly complicated, and I remind myself Denton doesn’t need a relationship or friends-with-benefits or a date. He needs his friend, and I failed him.

“Hey,” I say as I near him. I can feel the anger vibrating off his body, and I nod for the hall outside the gymnasium. I don’t need a scene before the girls. In fact, I can’t do this right now. I need to coach.

I continue into the hallway and spin to face him. He steps up to me, and suddenly I’m pressed against the trophy case across from the gym. His mouth crashes mine, and I can’t breathe. He’s consuming me as his lips capture mine, and I melt into him, although our mouths feel more like a fight than a kiss.

“I’m so pissed off at you,” he mutters, nipping at my chin before returning to my mouth.