Page 9 of Second Chance

7

Secrets

[Mati]

The pub has an Oktoberfest planned in a few weeks, and we need a permit to close a portion of Main Street. This should be easy to achieve as my brother Charlie, my twin, is the current mayor of the city, but noooo, there are glitches in blocking off a part of the thoroughfare through the heartbeat of Blue Ridge. Plan B is to use the side street between our building and the one across the street. Plan C is to use the public lot behind us which is a whole other hassle. We need to figure out something.

It’s already the beginning of September. October will be here sooner than we think. I’m hoping I’ll be headed to a volleyball state championship a month later, but I keep those goals to myself. I have a secret. I want to be a college volleyball coach. Chris knew this and encouraged me to apply to a variety of places, but I didn’t follow through. I always had an excuse. The kids. The pub. Where we lived. Chris’s practice. With Chris’s death, I slowly came to realize there are no longer as many things holding me back.

My son Jax works for my oldest brother Giant in the warehouse as head of direct sales. His twin brother Jordan works in his father’s law practice, as an associate partner. Jordan was only an intern when Chris died, so my brother and Chris’s partner, Charlie, took over his apprenticeship until Jordan passed the bar. Both boys are in relationships, although I wish Jax would marry Hollilyn, his pregnant girlfriend. Jordan married his college sweetheart, Maggie. I thought all twins did things in sync, but as they aren’t identical, maybe not. I should know. Look at Charlie and me.

Besides them being secure, the pub isn’t a career move, it’s family, which holds me back in other ways. As the family ages, though, I can be replaced. Which leaves my home as the only remaining excuse. Originally, I didn’t want to leave my house, but I’ve become more and more willing as time passes. The place holds a million fond memories, and at times, those memories haunt me. As our second home, after our first apartment, this is where we raised our boys. Holidays. Birthdays. Anniversaries. Sometimes, the past pains me. Yet, I don’t think I could move too far away. Blue Ridge is my home—the only place I’ve ever known. I’m forty-four, and change is scary.

Still.

I find I’m ready. I applied for the position of head of women’s volleyball at Northeastern Georgia, some thirty minutes down the mountain. It would be a commute, but I don’t want to get ahead of myself. The application is pending. I also applied to Dalton State, but I’ve recently learned they cut women’s volleyball. I need to search for a few more applications, but first, I check Facebook.

A string of messages from Denton greet me, but the last one catches me off guard.

It sounds angry.

What does he have to be angry about?

Full disclosure. Secrets. What the…

My mind drifts back to being fourteen. We kissed, and we kept it quiet. I swore I’d take it to the grave. Marriage has all kinds of hidden truths. This one would have killed Chris. I laugh bitterly at the irony. Chris went to the grave first. He’ll never know what happened, but I remember. I remember stopping Denton, thinking he was only looking for sympathy from me. He didn’t want me; he wanted my comfort. This was confirmed two weeks later when he went out with Kristy Moseley, and they gave up their virginity to each other. I hated him. I hated how it made me feel, which is another secret I plan to have buried with me.

I’m not certain how to respond to his message, but it irritates me.

Denton, I work all day, so I’m sorry to respond so late. I’m not opening the envelope. Whatever is in there is between you and Chris, as Chris wanted it to be. I have no interest in disclosing anything or exposing secrets. Just give me your address, or I can give the envelope to Dolores, and she can forward it to you.

I’ve noticed once again he hasn’t included where to send the letter. I don’t like offering him Option B—his sister—but my patience wears thin.

The three bubbles appear instantly, and my fingers fly back from the keyboard as if he can see me.

Hey. Where do you work?

I stare at the question. That’s it? Nothing else after all he said earlier?

I’m the varsity girls’ volleyball coach for Blue Ridge High School. I also work for the BRMP.

BRMP?

Blue Ridge Microbrewery and Pub.

Ah, yes. Dolores mentioned her competition.

Competition? When Billy decided to open the pub sixteen years ago, we worried about the effects on the community, especially the diner run by Denton’s sister. Billy and Dolores were friends, as Dolores was practically family, like Denton. Billy researched prior to opening to prove our pub wouldn’t conflict with her restaurant. The diner catered to locals and the pub was intended to attract visitors. Blue Ridge was growing as a community, a little-hidden niche for artisans, and a blossoming tourist destination.

We aren’t her competition, I defend.

Easy there, Spice.

Spice?

Yeah, your hair looks cinnamon. What happened to the paprika?

I gasp.