Page 98 of Second Chance

“Love is a battlefield.” My mouth pops open, ready to tell Cora we aren’t talking about love when my brother begins to hum a few bars of the Pat Benatar classic and Cora holds her hand at half-mast to stop me from speaking. “I'm talking more about a Dirty Dancing moment.”

I snort, and the noise travels. Billy knocks me in the shoulder with his, and I lower my head, acting as if I need to cough with a fist to my mouth.

“Nobody-puts-Baby-in-a-corner moment,” I mock, not having the slightest inkling how this relates to me.

“More like an I’m-afraid-I’ll-never-feel-again-how-I-feel-with-you moment,” Cora mutters. I choke. Billy snorts. Giant reaches around Charlie and taps Billy in the back of the head.

“What the he...heck...do you mean?” I twist slightly, looking at the side of Cora’s done-up face. She’s an expert at makeup, unlike me. Pearls, black dress, she’s all polished like a true Southern beauty.

“I’m just saying sometimes you have to be a little afraid of losing someone to recognize you may never feel like you feel right now again in your life.” She drawls out the words.

From my seat, I see Denton at an angle with his sharp suit and sad eyes.

How can he look hot in jeans and tats or a tie and sorrow?

“I mean, that man wants you, and there’s no denying he’s hot as sin. And you want him. He’s perfect for a test drive,” Cora continues as if I don’t understand her meaning. My eyes open wide and my face heats.

“Cora,” I hiss.

“There’s nothing wrong with a little ride, Mati, to see if you can still handle the road.” Now Charlie chuckles, and I close my eyes as Cora’s euphemisms take a wrong turn.

“Cora,” I groan, warning her to stop.

“I’m just saying—”

“As much as I’m enjoying this Steel Magnolia moment listening to the two of you banter like Claire Belcher and Louisa Boudreaux, try to remember where you are for a moment.” Charlie’s voice chastises us, as he leans forward like our mother did in church on Sunday mornings when the Harrington children misbehaved.

“Oh, and who might I be in this scenario?” I mutter to no one in particular, and Billy chuckles. “And what is this, movie hour?”

“You’re turning into the grouchy one,” Cora smirks next to me and sticks out her tongue at Charlie. I huff out a stifled laugh at her immaturity.

“When did he become so pious?” Cora leans into me, bumping my shoulder, as her voice lowers.

“When he hasn’t been laid since Luci was three,” Billy says quietly out the side of his mouth referencing Charlie’s daughter, and I cover my mouth again to suppress another giggle. As if sensing our behavior, I look over at Denton to intercept my mother’s eyes from where she stands behind Denton and Dolores in the second row. Her eyes narrow, and without looking at my brothers, I know we all straightened in our seats.

+ + +

The funeral is a difficult few hours for me. Memories of Chris’s passing flood me as we listen to a sermon in church and then stand around Caroline’s grave. My eyes drift across the cemetery to another plot, recalling another fall day, much like today—gloomy, rainy, lifeless. I don’t focus on my own memories too long, though.

My parents provide the massive luncheon after the funeral at their home to show their respects as long-time neighbors to the Chances. Keeping my eyes on Denton, we circle each other like a practiced dance. As if attracted like magnets, we find each other, pass with a soft touch to the arm or swipe to the lower back, and then move on.

We haven’t spoken in two days. I sent a text, and hours later he answered. His reply I missed, and it was late when I responded. We cross, miss, and continue marching forward. Our communication attempts are a metaphor for our relationship. We’ve been friends-with-feelings, missed our chance, and continued on opposing paths.

Our lives are so different. I’m hopeful of the volleyball coach position. He still wants his modeling career. Once again, we orbit one another, but just once I’d like to collide. I want to hold on and dig in and connect on a level I know I’ll only achieve with him. Like Cora said, the I’m-afraid-I’ll-never-feel-again-how-I-feel-with-you sentiment. My breath hitches with the overwhelming possibility it’s true. I’ll never feel again how I feel when I’m with Denton. I don’t want to lose another second without him.

It’s almost laughable when I think of the time we’ve lost, but then I look up and see Jax, his hand on Hollilyn’s stomach. He leans forward and kisses her in a rare public display of tenderness. With the vision of my son, spreading his fingers over his future offspring, I’m almost shattered by the realization I wouldn’t change a thing in my past. If everything happens for a reason, Denton and I just weren’t meant to be. But what’s the reason for his return to me now then?