Page 35 of Collide

Tommy pauses, blinking at my outburst. I might have just proved him right in his thoughts.

“Actually, I don’t think any of those things make you a child. Maybe that’s what scares me. You’re an adult. With a baby on the way. Are you ready for this next chapter? Do you really think he is? His life with this band is just beginning.”

“And what about my life?”

Tommy sighs. “It isn’t ending, but this is a different beginning, girl.” His thick arms cross as he glares at me. As if I don’t already realize everything will change for me in a few months. Life will never be the same again. Is that really so bad, though?

The more I’ve thought about the baby, the happier I get. Not that I was sad when I found out. I think it was shock, and after losing Cash in the manner in which we did, I think I was a little numb to emotion. But the more time that passes—hearing the heartbeat and seeing the ultrasound—the more excited I get. Scared, too, but still in awe. There’s a baby in me, and it’s going to be all mine. And if Gage Everly makes me feel a little extra special with this baby, with his tender touches and gentle kisses over my belly, then I’m going to soak up what I’ll never have from a man and store it for the future when I’m alone, and it’s only baby and me.

I take a deep breath and reach for the coffee pot when the timer beeps. My hand shakes, but I pour a cup for myself and then reach into the cabinet for a mug for Tommy.

“Maybe I’m ready for different, Uncle Tommy. Maybe I’m ready for normal.”

“How’s it going to be normal if you’re with Gage Everly, rising rock star, unless he crashes his dreams?”

“I’m not crashing anything,” Gage snaps, and both our heads turn to see him leaning against the wall leading into the kitchen. He wears long swim shorts and nothing else. My stomach clenches, and my mouth waters. He’s just so nice to look at, and his slow, sheepish smile causes my toes to curl on the tile floor. I want to rush to him, but I hold back because of the vibe coming off my uncle.

“This…” Tommy points between Gage and myself. “…has disaster written all over it.”

“Why?” I stammer, trying to avoid Gage’s eyes burning into the side of my face. Tommy doesn’t speak, and I offer Gage my cup of coffee.

“Could you give us a minute?” I plead, hoping Gage understands. I need to have it out with my uncle. He huffs, hesitates a moment, and then steps forward to kiss my cheek.

“You look gorgeous in the morning,” he whispers into my ear, brushing back a lock of hair. I weakly smile, wanting to soak up the compliment but knowing I need to deal with my uncle. Gage takes the mug and heads down the hall.

When I think he’s out of earshot, I turn on Tommy.

“Do you think I’m destined to repeat all her mistakes?” The facts are, my mother got pregnant young, out of wedlock, and by a man who wanted to be a rock star.

“Not destined. You can be smarter than her. Make better decisions.” Judgment rings in his tone.

“Like she did with Hank,” I snap, reminding my uncle of the volatile relationship which could have ended in happily ever after if my mother had only said yes. “Or Lawson.”

The mention of my brother causes Tommy’s eyes to narrow on me. “I’m not discussing either of them with you.”

“I’ll never know her secrets, will I?”

“You don’t need to know her secrets; you just need to learn from her mistakes.” One main mistake I think my mother made was never giving into Hank Paige, a man who loved her and her children without question. “She loved you, and that’s all you really need to know,” Tommy adds.

Sometimes I wondered what conditions came with that love.

When I return to my room, I find Gage sitting on my bed, a vision of casual and comfortable, with his ankles crossed and my mug of coffee in his hand. He’s reading the baby book.

“You okay?” he asks when I close the door.

I nod. I don’t know what to else to say. It’s embarrassing to fight in front of him, about him, with my uncle. Gage sets the coffee on the nightstand and closes the book. He slips off the bed to stand before me, cupping my face in the way he does. He pulls me close so all I focus on is him.

“I don’t want you defending me to him,” he tells me, kissing the corner of my mouth.

“I don’t want him judging me.” My uncle is a far cry from perfect, and while I appreciate his attention, support, and love, I need to live my life how I want.

“Let’s get out of here today,” Gage offers, and I couldn’t agree more. We head into a small beachfront town where we play tourists for the day. We shop, we eat, and we eventually end up at a baby store. Gage pulls me in to look at all the tiny clothes and gadgets. He picks up a pink onesie with a tutu at the waist.

Princess in training, it reads.

“Sold,” Gage states, tucking the item under his arm.

“What are you doing?” I laugh.