Page 78 of Silver Brewer

“Will you still want me in six months?”

We haven’t really talked about this possibility—the what-if—of her getting a baby. I’m not opposed to long-distance dating. Nothing against her being a single mother. But a new baby and the distance? The future with a baby? Even I’m starting to doubt the situation.

“Six months is nothing, Cricket.” I’ve done longer stints without Clara, but when I think of how that really worked out for us, I’m not certain I’d promote a long-distance relationship. Sure, it was okay for us, but if I had to do it all again, I’d want a little more continuity. Daily physical contact being number one on my list. With Letty, I thought I might have a second chance, but again, I’m suddenly skeptical. I don’t tell her my thoughts, including the ones where I was hoping to convince her to move here. She could adopt here. She could work here. Blue Ridge might not be the real estate metropolis she has in Chicago, but a change of scenery might be what she needs.

“Please be happy for me.”

“I am, sweetheart. I really am. This is exciting. You’re going to be a great mother.”

“I am,” she says with her feisty determination to get the job done, but tackling a baby isn’t quite like obtaining real estate. “I hate to dash, but I’ve got to go. I have so much to do. Clear the office in my condo. Buy a crib. Purchase clothes. Get some diapers.” She laughs. “I never thought I’d hear those words cross my lips. I’m excited to change a diaper.” She’s giddy as she rambles, and I can picture the grin on her face. I want to kiss those smiling lips, but I can’t. Not yet.

“You get settled, and then I’ll come to you,” I tell her.

She quiets a little. “You know, I don’t expect…I wouldn’t ask you to come here all the time, but I just can’t—”

“I’m not worried about making this equal travel or wherever your pretty little head is taking this. We’ll work it out. I promise.”

“I just don’t want to take advantage of you. If it ever becomes too much or you can’t see yourself handling the baby, just…please…be honest and let me know your feelings. I’ll understand. I will.”

What’s she saying?

“I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you. Go get your baby and your crib and your diapers. You’ll be rethinking those diaper changes at two in the morning when you haven’t had any sleep.” I scoff, hoping to lighten the mood. “And call me tonight.”

“I love you,” she says breathlessly through the phone, and for the length of those three words, I actually believe we’ll be all right.

“I love you, too, Cricket.”

+ + +

“What’s up with you?” Billy guffaws, pounding me on the back while we hang out on Thanksgiving Day at my parents’. Elaina Harrington is in full force when her family gathers, and nothing is forgotten. Food. Beer. Desserts. I’m stuffed from overeating and a little heartsick without Letty present. The focal point of this holiday is the newest addition to our family, Christopher Jaxson Rathstone, Mati’s grandson. CJ’s adorable, and Mati gloats about another boy when all us brothers only have girls. Baby talk seems to be surrounding me lately, and I’m suffocating.

“Nothing,” I snap, lifting another beer to my lips.

“Uh-huh. Trophy Room. Now.” Billy brushes past me and walks down the back hall from the living room to a room off the garage. It’s a silly name for a room, but the enormous shelving unit once held all our sports’ trophies and contest ribbons, along with our high school senior pictures. Board games and gaming systems were stored in the cabinets below the shelves, and a large screen television sits in the center opening. Eventually, wedding pictures replaced the trophies, along with framed images of all the grandbabies. This room was our man cave as teenagers, conveniently located off the garage so we could sneak out, stash beer, or bring a girl into the house undetected.

“Talk,” Billy demands, and I want to tell him to mind his own fucking business. He’s been just as ornery today.

“Letty got a baby.”

Billy’s eyes widen so big I think they’ll pop out of their sockets. “She was pregnant?”

“No, idiot.” I swipe a hand over my beard. “She adopted a baby. And you’re catching flies.” His mouth remains open, gaping in disbelief.

“Did you know about this?” he asks, his lips slowly closing.

“Of course.” I sigh.

“And you aren’t happy?”

I lower to the old leather couch that has seen better days and its fair share of naked Harrington ass on it. “I’m happy for her. Thrilled. This is what she wants.”

“But…?” He rolls a finger, encouraging me to tell him more.

“I just…I hoped we’d have some time together. Long distance is hard enough. Actually, I was hoping to convince her to move here, but now with the baby thing, she can’t leave Illinois for at least six months. Maybe longer.”

“It’s not a thing,” Billy retorts, and I’m about to tell him he knows what I mean, but he doesn’t. Billy and his ex-wife, Rachel, never had children. I briefly explain the adoption process and restrictions. “I don’t think I see the big deal. Put a ring on her and get her down here in six months.”

I chuckle and scrub a hand over my jaw, stroking my thick scruff. “Doesn’t it seem a little fast? It’s hardly been three months.”