Page 117 of Silver Player

“I’m so proud of you,” I say, pulling her in for a hug. I give them freely to her now, and she gives them back to me, which I know I shouldn’t expect to always happen. She is a teenager, after all, so I take whatever she offers, and I stash it in my heart to hold it a little longer.

Roxie steps up to me next, offering a kiss herself, and I always find it a struggle to keep it chaste and clean in front of my child. Most days, I still want to ravish her from the moment her mouth touches mine. It’s been so different being with her day in and day out, and although I don’t compare Roxanne to Rachel, I see how different it can be. How different love can be.

We head to the kitchen, ready to make lunch when a knock comes on the door. Roxanne’s head pops up. “I’ll get it.”

When she turns, she sheepishly looks at Sadie.

“Sadie, there’s a boy here to see you.”

Sadie’s face turns bright red, and her hair falls forward as she looks at her feet, fighting a smile. She tucks a wedge of hair behind her ears and then steps out of the kitchen.

“This is a joke, right?” I stare at Roxie, who fights her own smile.

“He’s cute,” she teases, and I tip my head as if to look through the opening to the front entry. “Stop,” she admonishes, pulling me behind the wall.

“Is it that Christian kid?” I hiss, and Roxanne’s lips twist.

“Did you know he was the boy working at the Christmas tree farm?”

I actually did know. I got him the job to work off the money he stole so he could pay me back the money I paid out to cover what he’d done for Sadie.

“He’s trouble,” I warn, acting as if I can see through the wall into the living room where Sadie still stands by the front door with him.

“So are you,” Roxanne teases, tugging at the collar of my shirt. “But under all that trouble might be a man with a soft heart.” She brings my mouth to hers, and I fall into the kiss, forgetting for only a second that there’s a boy speaking with my daughter in the front room.

“What do you think they’re talking about?” I question, pulling back and leaning to the side as if I can hear them.

“Wall sex,” Roxanne states, her tone serious until I look at her. Her silver eyes dance, and she bites the corner of her lip.

“That’s not even funny,” I retort, but I don’t have any bark to my bite. “I think the troublemaker is you.”

“Me?” She holds her hand to her chest. “I’m never trouble.” But the smile she gives me tells me she is. She’s still a pain in my ass somedays, and most days, I love it.

“I love your kind of trouble,” I say, leaning toward her for another kiss.

“I love you,” she says. It will never get old hearing her say those words to me, and she tells me every day. When I question what I’m doing as a father or wonder if I’ve proved myself with my father, she tells me she loves me, and I know I’m enough. Just me as I am.

“Ah-hem.” Sadie clears her throat. She’s used to this, often catching us kissing one another. At first, I found it strange she was upstairs whenever Roxanne and I buried ourselves in my bed. We’ve become rather creative with a teenager in the house. “Christian would like to take me out for hot chocolate, but I’d like to know if I can drive.”

“You just got your license,” I say, knowing the plan was a celebratory lunch and then bowling this afternoon.

“He’s on his motorcycle.”

“Here are the keys,” Roxanne offers, leaning for the key hook near her head. She hands them to Sadie, who continues to smile. She’s such a beautiful girl, and I’m surprised sometimes when I consider I made her. But it’s been Theresa and Roxanne who molded her into the girl she is. The one conscious of her grades but still likes to have a little fun in life.

“Behave yourselves,” Sadie warns us like we are the teenagers.

“We always do,” I tease, and Sadie huffs with a roll of her eyes. “You behave yourself.”

“It’s only hot chocolate,” she says, and I’m about to reply that it’s never just hot chocolate, thinking back to the night I asked Roxanne on our first official date and brought her to my home. I knew that night everything would be different, and it was.

Roxanne covers my lips with two fingers, worried what I’ll say next. She isn’t wrong. My comment might have been too much for Sadie.

“Have fun,” Roxanne says, smiling at her niece, and Sadie returns the grin before disappearing behind the wall. When we hear the front door open and close, I sag forward, resting my forehead on Roxanne’s.

“I’m not going to survive fatherhood.”

“I hope that’s not true,” she says, and I pull back, wondering what she means. My eyes narrow as my head tilts.