Page 12 of Silver Player

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You sleep around, William Harrington, so this is more your fault than it will ever be mine.” It’s a low blow even if true. I’ll never admit to seeing him with that woman, watching him a few minutes when I shouldn’t have been watching. It shouldn’t be my concern if he can’t keep it in his pants, but for a moment, I wonder if he has other children he doesn’t know about somewhere else in Georgia. My heart crashes at the possibility. I don’t really think he has a hundred children out there. It’s more the probability of him sleeping with a hundred women and none of them have been me. I’m the one woman he hasn’t tried to sleep with, and I don’t know why, but it bothers me.

“Sometimes I hate you, Roxie.”

“The feeling is mutual, William.”

However, I’m conscious of how that isn’t how I feel, and I’m equally aware of how close we stand. My hand is still wrapped around his thick finger, callused against my palm, and although I thought it was me grabbing him, it suddenly feels like he’s holding onto me. My breasts nearly brush his heaving chest, and our breaths mix with weighty tension. Our eyes lock for the briefest of seconds, and then he tugs his finger free from my grasp, shaking his hand toward the floor as though he’s discarding a piece of trash, as if my touch was filth, and I understand why he’s never legitimately hit on me.

I repulse him.

He steps back, still holding my eyes.

“It’s always my fault,” he murmurs and spins away from me without another word.

6

Blame and shame are not good bedfellows

[Billy]

When Rachel left me, my family blamed me. I was too much of a flirt. Everyone thought the divorce was my fault. They didn’t know the truth or even half of it, and I really wanted to keep it a secret for Rachel. She isn’t ashamed of who she is, and neither am I. I just wish we had both recognized the signs sooner, but life can sometimes be deceiving and difficult.

Like asking Roxie for her help.

It took courage to approach her and ask her advice about a second introduction with Sadie. I’d been thinking about our first meeting for two full days, and the scenario played out in a million different ways. But my motto is not to live in the past. I can’t change it. I’d like to consider the future instead, which seems equally as dangerous.

“I hope you aren’t getting your hopes up, boss,” Clyde warns when I return to the pub, huffing in frustration. Damn Roxie and her words. And those eyes. Her silvery orbs remind me of the color of an antiquated bracelet my mother owns. When she focuses on me, looking me right in the eyes, something happens like she’s put a spell on me and all I want to do is kiss her damn mouth.

“What hopes?” I snap at my bartender.

“Hopes that you might be her father.”

“I don’t—” I stop myself. It’s not that I don’t wish to be Sadie’s dad. I don’t know what I want, and damn Clyde for being so observant and thinking he knows something I don’t.

“It’s a strange feeling, isn’t it? Hoping that it’s true. Wishing it to be.” He smiles to himself, and I stare at my friend. What are we, a Hallmark movie? Clyde shakes his head as if ridding his thoughts as he pulls the tap and fills a glass with our fall blend. His expression hardens from his easy smile as he passes the pint to a customer.

“I don’t know what I want,” I lie because deep down, like way down, I do want to be Sadie’s dad. Not that I know Sadie or think she’s anything special yet. I just think—I don’t know—I might be okay at being a dad. I’d certainly try to do better than my old man, who is a great guy by most people’s standards but didn’t have the same connection with me as he seems to have with my three brothers. And forget about my baby sister, Mati. She’s his princess.

“So what did you decide?” Clyde asks, turning his back to the bar to ring up a tab.

“I’m doing the test. I just don’t know how or when or what to do.” I scrub at my face in frustration. I can’t ask my family for help, and when I mentioned that fun fact to Roxanne, she looked as though she wanted to skewer me. She doesn’t understand. It’s not that I’m ashamed of Sadie—although there will be plenty of blame and reprimand—it’s that I’m afraid if it isn’t true, then there will be plenty of blame and reprimand. My mother will be crushed she doesn’t have another grandchild, especially as I seem the least likely to produce one. My father will shake his head, implying the thousands of lectures about keeping it in my pants.

I don’t know why he even bothered with us boys.

“You need a lawyer.”

A lawyer. My youngest brother is one, but he’s also the town mayor and doesn’t need more scandal. Then again, it’s my life, not his.

“I do, but I can’t ask my brother.”

“What about his partner?”

Jordan? “He’s still family. I don’t want any of them involved yet.” I sigh. Jordan is my nephew. My sister, Mati, has twins. Jaxson followed in her footsteps as a wild child, and he’s currently the sales director for Giant Brewing Company with a baby on the way from his baby mama. Ah, the one-night stand pregnancy might run in the family. For a moment, I want to high-five myself, but then I reconsider. Mati’s other son is Jordan. He followed his father’s path and became a lawyer. Responsible, organized, and a bit anal, Jordan studied under his father and uncle until Chris died. He took his father’s place as partner to my brother Charlie.

“Yeah, but there’s such a thing as attorney-client confidentiality, and it’s not like he’s a direct sibling.”

Clyde has a point. One I’m greatly considering. After googling paternity tests and rights of the father, I’ve found all kinds of things I don’t quite understand, so as much as I hate to admit it, I do need advice and legal guidance.