Page 69 of Speak from the Heart

I eat more of the chicken and slaw, and once I’ve had enough, Jess and I stand so we can make our way to the beach. He takes my bag from my shoulder, slings it over his, and then takes my hand as though he’s announcing to every person we pass that I’m his.

I’m his, if only for the day.

I’m too old for a summer romance but the memories of dalliances from long ago filter through my head. The all-consuming emotions wrapped up in someone from another place for only a limited period. The now. The sense of urgency fueled by the ticking clock and the off-the-charts passion when inhibitions are removed. The moments that pass as you ignore the end approaching.

Once we arrive at the crowded beach, we quickly find Katie with Tricia and Jess’s mother. Buckets and toy shovels litter the space around them.

“Presenting Princess Katie,” I call out as we near, and Katie looks up at me. She stands up, quickly closes the distance between us, and reaches out to hug my legs. I bend at the waist, curling over her, and I’m overwhelmed by how much I will miss this little girl. I blink quickly at the sudden rush of tears and rub her back before she breaks free from me.

Katie scrambles back to the spot in the sand she’s been digging in, and Jess falls to his knees near her.

“Time to build my princess a castle,” he teases. He gives directions on filling buckets and sends Katie to find twigs for drawbridges and pebbles to line the edges of the castle. I sit back and observe the science behind Jess’s structure. He isn’t wrong. He’s a champion builder.

His mother sits nearby and regales me with tales of Jess as a child. Tricia adds in her own memories of hanging out on the beach as a teen. The stories remind me of the rightness of this family, and the love they feel for one another. When Mary mentions her deceased husband, she smiles fondly, but I hear the sadness infused in her voice. She lost her husband too young and to such senseless tragedy. It’s a reminder to soak up the small minutes because we never know when something will end.

Jess finishes building, and Katie sits back to admire his masterpiece.

I lean forward, and question, “Good enough for a princess? Perhaps Princess Katie lives in a castle like this.” My comment is a reminder of the story we wrote together. Katie looks up at me, eyes wide with recognition.

“Katie’s excited for the fireworks tonight,” Tricia interjects as if her niece has told her such a thing.

“Fireworks?” I repeat the word in question. “As in, a night of fire in the sky.” I continue speaking and hold Katie’s gaze. “All kinds of magical things could happen today.”

Jess shakes his head next to me. “You and your make-believe.”

“Us fairies know of what we speak.”

Katie’s eyes widen.

“Oh, did I forget to mention my fairy abilities?” I wink at her. “Three secrets shared and the strength to give a secret in return.”

I tip my head, acting all-powerful like the great Wizard of Oz, who wasn’t a wizard at all.

Jess chuckles.

“Your castle needs a king,” Tricia says, still teasing her niece.

“I’m the king,” Jess declares, reaching out to playfully tug at his daughter’s braid.

“A beast is more like it,” his mother states. I laugh and recall reading Katie the story of Beauty and the Beast. On that day, her little head tilted toward the kitchen where her father worked as if she’s heard him referenced as a beast before. Now, I understand the connection.

“Perhaps the castle needs a queen?” Tricia states. She raises an eyebrow as she stares at her brother, who shakes his head again.

“I’m surrounded by estrogen.” He sits up and brushes the sand off his backside, then holds out a hand for his daughter. “Let’s swim, baby girl.” She stands and takes his hand, and I watch them walk to the water. What princess needs a prince when her daddy is such a great king? I’d never known such things since my father left when I was still young.

“He doesn’t know it, but he needs a queen. Just not the pretentious kind he had before.” Mary Carter snorts. “Maybe this time, he needs one with a gentle spirt and a good heart.” I blush at her indirect compliment. I’m no queen, but I admit, there’s a rightness to the thought of being a part of this royal family. If only . . .

We fall into easy chatter as women can until Katie returns from the water with her father, who glistens like a Greek god. His hair is slicked back, and water ripples down his tight abs.

“If I tell you a secret, will you tell me one?” I say to Katie once she returns to the beach. She’s snuggled in a towel to dry off the water, and I tug her to my lap. She doesn’t answer me, but I knew she wouldn’t, and I continue despite her silence.

“Princess Katie has the best father king,” I say into her ear. “He loves her very much but so does this fairy.” Katie shifts in her seat to look at me. “Your daddy is strong on the outside, but people can be strong in here too,” I say, pointing over her heart. “You are one of the strongest people I know, Katie bug. Inside you is love and happiness and hope, and sometimes we need to share those strengths with other people. Do you know what I mean?”

I keep my voice low, but I sense Jess listening to me from his position at my side.

“Katie, let’s get some ice cream,” he interjects, pulling his child away from me and my serious tone. He hops to his feet without looking at me and takes her hand once again, walking away from me.

You’re pushing, I warn myself.

But I have nothing to lose.

I’ll lose them both come tomorrow.