Page 73 of Speak from the Heart

Rule 20

Sometimes, we only hear what we want to hear

because we aren’t fully listening.

[Emily]

What happens when the spell is broken? They live happily ever after.

That’s how the story goes. Only, it’s not my story, and I’m not a part of theirs. I’m so happy for Jess. I’m so happy for Katie. There is still recovery to come. More questions to be answered. More special moments to live, but I will not be a part of it.

Tears blur my vision as I walk the remainder of the distance back to Nana’s.

It’s a miracle, it truly is, but I’m left with a huge sense of loss and an ache in my chest.

You did good here. I can almost hear Nana’s voice in my head, but I’m hit with a wave of grief, and the tears fall.

I take out my phone, ready to call my sister when I see I have a message from my boss—several, actually. It’s late on a Saturday, but he’s called three times.

“Doug,” I say into the phone when I return his call. “I’m sorry it’s so late. Is everything okay?”

“Wonderful news, Emily. Frank Simmons quit on Friday, and we’d like to offer you his column.”

Frank has been writing a book review column for years. His interests are stodgy and outdated, and I know I could really do something amazing with this section of the paper. It’s not exactly what I’d wanted, but I realize I hadn’t actually known what I wanted until it was offered to me. Finally.

“That’s wonderful,” I say. Despite the good news, my tears of loss still clog my throat.

“You don’t sound very excited. I thought this was what you wanted.” His tone turns stern, demeaning even.

“Just things going on here. I’m very excited. Thank you so much for this opportunity.”

Doug hesitates a moment before speaking. “Emily, you aren’t going to ask for more time off, are you? Are you going to flake on this job?”

Flake? Does he think I’ve been on a tropical vacation? I’m ready to tell him what he can do with his column until reason stops me.

This is it. This is something I’ve always wanted. It’s here. My dream job.

“So do you want this column or not?” he repeats, his voice still terse.

“Yes. Absolutely, yes.”

“Wonderful. I’ll see you Monday.” With that, he hangs up and it’s all final. I start a new position at the paper on Monday. The position I’ve coveted for ten years. My own column.

Then why am I not more excited?

+ + +

It’s dark when something tickles my face and I swat at it. My nose twitches, and I rub at it with the side of my hand. The teasing touch comes again, and my eyelids flip open. I’m ready to scream when a hand covers my lips, and Jess’s intense eyes stare down at me.

“Jesus,” I mutter into his palm.

“Nope. Just Jess.” He removes his hand.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper like I’ll wake someone.

“I couldn’t sleep.” He swipes something down my nose again, and I note the daisy between his fingers. “I have all this energy.”

His voice drops, and I know what he wants without him saying it. He’s here for sex. Only, I’m not certain I can do it.