Page 73 of Read With Your Heart

“For such a strong man, that is just weak,” I snap. Those are not the words I want to hear.

“Look, I promise it won’t happen again.” His eyes glance from me to the floor and back up. He’s a petulant child in a man’s body, but I’m not falling for it. I’m not caving to that innocent, hesitant glance.

“GAH! Are you kidding me? That’s even worse. Do you know how often I’ve heard those words?”

“And I’ve told you I’m not him,” he says softly, but his tender tone does nothing to douse my ire.

“That is not good enough, Leon.” I take a deep breath while my body trembles. Fists form at my side. “I deserve better.” And I believe this with every fiber of my being.

“And I’m here to do that,” he says, the words still cautious. Is he trying to convince me or himself? “It won’t ever happen again. I won’t shut you out. I won’t disappear. I’m here for you.”

I shake my head. My body ripples with disbelief and distrust. Words—just pretty words.

“I can’t,” I whisper. His silver eyes soften as he shakes his head side to side, disagreeing with me.

“I love you.” The startling sentiment is said softly but with emphasis. “I love you, and I’m sorry. I didn’t shut you out. I just shut down, but I’m back, and I’ll do anything—anything—to prove I’m here to stay. Nothing like this will ever happen again.”

I stare at him, disbelief radiating from my entire body. I’ve heard this all before. It’s only words. It’s been spoken to me by a man I’d trusted and now said to me again from someone I don’t. My head shakes in response to him.

“You don’t love me,” I reply, my voice breaking again. “This is not love. Leaving me is not love. Making me worry and afraid is not love.”

“No one’s hurt, baby.”

“I’m hurt!” I yell. “I’m hurt.” My voice cracks as I repeat myself with more emphasis, slapping a hand to my chest as the tears I’ve been fighting break. “I’m not like you. I didn’t shut down.” I toss his words back to him.

He’s nodding at me, licking his lips. “Okay. Okay, baby. I get it.” He’s still watching me as tears fall, and my body hums with a clash of emotions. Resentment. Pain. Disappointment.

“You said I was safe with you, Leon, but I wasn’t safe. My heart . . . it can’t take this kind of thing again.” Yet it races in my chest with hope that he means what he says, and I feel safer now that he’s standing before me.

“I’m not him,” he whispers, his voice a low growl.

“You’re right. You’re not. I thought you were better.”

His eyes widen, and he steps up to me.

“‘Love me or hate me, both are in my favor. If you love me, I will always be in your heart. If you hate me, I will always be in your mind.’”

“Stop quoting Shakespeare,” I hiss, my heart breaking again.

“I’m always going to be a part of you as you’re always going to be a part of me, Tricia. We connect in the way Shakespeare wrote about. You’re it for me.”

I shake my head in disbelief.

“I’ll stay at a motel down the highway until you’re ready to speak with me.”

Leaning forward, he brushes his lips against mine like he did that first time. A soft stroke. A swift caress. And then he turns and leaves me again.

+ + +

Leon stops by the house each night after school to see Lys, and I typically make myself scarce when he arrives. It feels all messed up that he’s here in town but not staying with his sister, who lives with me when I’m not family. Don’t even get me started on how broken I feel for Lys regarding her parents and her sister. It’s like she and Levi have more in common than they realize, and while a friendship bloomed during the time Levi helped at my place, her feelings for him are unrequited on his end. It breaks my heart for Lys all over again.

One night, I overhear their sibling conversation, and as much as I want to ignore it, I just can’t.

“I want to tell you again how sorry I am that I ran off,” Leon begins from the living room. Lys remains quiet, and I imagine her deep dark eyes watching him. I’ve tucked myself inside the dining room, pressing myself against the wall to be hidden from their interaction. “I don’t want you to think I abandoned you. I knew you were safe with Tricia. You know she adores you, right?”

I’d hope she knows how I feel about her after we’ve spent these weeks together.

“I adore her,” Lys states quietly.