Page 50 of Fight from the Heart

Softly chuckling to myself, I comment. “Lilac, that man was a fucking fool for not marrying you.”

“Don’t,” she presses, her voice tense.

“You’re incredible. You’re beautiful. You’re kind and thoughtful. Your heart is wide open and accepting.”

She shakes her head. “I’m over it. Bitterness is a drug, too, and it can eat at your soul. I don’t have time for that negative energy. I want to believe in love and second chances.”

“Do you? Do you really believe love exists? Do you believe people deserve a second chance?”

“I do,” she states adamantly. “Love doesn’t look the same for everyone. It might not even feel the same. For some, it’s roses, and for others, it’s violets, but it’s still love.”

Or lilacs in the form of a petite blond with sultry curves and a heart of gold.

And whoever he is, this man who she’ll love, he’ll be the luckiest man in the world.

And that pesky emotion of hope weaves its way into my soul because I want it to be me.

+ + +

When we finally return to the condo, Pam slips from me once inside my place.

“Thank you for today. For tonight.” Her smile fills her face. Her cheeks are rosy from the chill of the night, and her eyes sparkle like sapphires. “New York feels a little magical.”

I want it to be special to her as this is a second home to me. She tips up to press her lips to mine, and I can’t let her go, desperate for another minute. My hand cups the back of her neck, holding her to me for a little longer. Taking her mouth deeper, adding my tongue, soaking her in. She breaks first, slowly pulling back from me.

“And now I’m going to prove kissing doesn’t lead to sex, either,” she says, stepping out from my touch.

“Lilac,” I groan.

“Dating 101, Jacob. Dinner. Hand holding. Kissing.” She bites her lips, teasing me with their plump swell.

“Are we dating?” I ask as she takes another step backward.

Slowly, she shakes her head. “I don’t think we’re there yet.” However, she’s still smiling at me, and I hang onto the word yet.

“I could just come upstairs and hold you,” I whisper, feeling like a chump for suggesting such a thing, but I don’t want to stop touching her. We don’t need to have sex. Not yet.

Pam shakes her head as she reaches the staircase and twists to glance at me over her shoulder. She’s seductive in this position. Her eyes say come hither. Chase me. But I don’t. This is a test. Can I resist her? Can I fight that pull she said she felt to me? Haven’t I been fighting it for over two years?

I can give her this. Slipping my hands in my pants to disguise what she’s done to me, I watch her slowly ascend the staircase like some star-crossed lover in his mythical mansion. The beauty doesn’t fall for the beast in a day.

Chapter 19

Work It Out

[Pam]

Last night, I slept restlessly, tossing and turning, torn with my thoughts. I wanted him next to me, in this bed, holding me as he suggested, but I don’t trust myself. After two years of fighting off the attraction, it is suddenly in my face, and I can’t accept it. Mandi’s presence still lingers in my head. Jacob hasn’t told me what they said to each other or how he got her to leave, and my biggest concern is that she’ll return. She always comes back.

Eventually, I give up on sleep and head downstairs. I heard Ethan and Ella come in late, so I assume they’ll be sleeping for hours still. To my surprise, Jacob is in the kitchen.

“I’m headed to the gym, but afterward, I thought we could hit up some of the touristy shit.” His voice unsettles me, something off in his tone.

“Maybe I could come with you,” I mention, and his forehead furrows.

“Uhm, this isn’t a health club. This is a gym.” He pauses for a second. “A boxing club.”

My mouth falls open and quickly shuts. While I’ve seen Jacob’s workout room at his house, and know he works hard against a bag and a pummel ball, I wasn’t aware he actually fought.