Page 13 of View With Your Heart

“Can I see you again? Are you visiting Leo? Let’s meet for a drink.”

“A drink?” I choke as that’s how it started that weekend. Thankfully, Gee saves me from replying as he canters up to where Gavin and I stand. Gee stares at where Gavin holds me, and Gavin quickly removes his hand from my arm. My skin actually sizzles with the removal of his fingers. He’s imprinted on me, and that touch will haunt me tonight as I lay in bed, restless and desperate for a release I haven’t had in a long time.

“Ready,” I say to Gee. “Thank Mr. Scott for his time.”

“Thanks for pitching, Coach.”

“No problem, sport,” he says to Gee, and the leaping and galloping in my heart crash like a jeté gone wrong.

“Britton.” My name is a question. He wants an answer, and I have so many, but none of them answer the question at hand.

“It’s been good to see you again, Gavin,” I state, lying to myself and him. It’s been great to see him, but heartbreaking as well. It’s all a reminder of what wasn’t meant to be. With my arm around Gee, I led him toward the lot where we parked bikes in the rack. As we walk away, Gee looks over his shoulder and gives another wave to Gavin.

“Do you feel practiced?” I question, trembling once we’ve reached our bikes. We begin walking them up the hill to the road, and I sense Gavin watching us.

“Gavin is great.” Gee hops on his bike, awkwardly walking the thing between his legs as we climb the steep gravel drive. “Did you go to school with him?”

“Something like that,” I mutter, though it isn’t true. How do you describe summer love to your child? You don’t, as I haven’t, and I don’t plan to.

“Do you think we’ll see him again? Think he’ll want to pitch to me again?”

“I don’t think so, honey.” There’d be no reason to see Gavin again. “He’s only here for the film festival.”

“Are we going to his movie?”

“I’ll have to think about it,” I lie again. I’m not going to his movie.

“That always means no,” Gee states, lowering his voice. He’s quiet for another second before saying, “So he was a baseball player, and now he makes movies.”

I don’t have the answers to that question because I didn’t know what happened to Gavin. Sometimes, life throws you a curveball, and you end up where you never thought you’d be. As I settle on my bike and press the pedal to propel myself forward, I glance at Gee. I wouldn’t trade him for the world, but I know all about how something can change your life in the blink of an eye.

“I guess so,” I mutter as Gee jumps up on his bike and pedals after me. We ride in silence for a few minutes, allowing the cooler temp of the evening to surround us as we slice through the breeze. The trees on either side of the road cast a shadow on the pavement. I love this area, and it’s one reason I decided to return. A series of events brought me back, but I accept for the hundredth time I’m where I’m meant to be.

“Hey Mom, why’d the Zombie pitcher retire from baseball?”

I slowly smile, knowing I don’t have an answer. “Why?”

“He threw his arm out.”

I laugh as I pedal, a sense of relief washing over me the farther we bike away from the field, and I do something I haven’t done in a long time.

Summer goal—avoid Gavin Scott.

Take 6

Scene: The Street

[Gavin]

I still couldn’t get over the fact Britton was at the ballfield last night. I wanted to know where she lived, what she was doing here, how had the past thirteen years been, but it was apparent she didn’t want to expound on anything with me.

The day is filled with another round of film viewing and a question and answer panel about documentaries. I’m happy to be at the session, discussing my new passion while a few people want to discuss my former baseball career. I cut those questions off with a little joke and move on.

That night my brother-in-law, Tom Carter, hosts a party in my honor, as he says. Married to my older sister, Karyn, Tom and she are high school sweethearts. They’ve been together for almost twenty years. By most people’s standards, they have it all—married with three children and a house on the lake.

I’m not certain where I fall on the list of standards.

I’m also not convinced Tom needs an excuse to throw a party, but I don’t turn down the opportunity, mainly because, once again, my parents will be present, and I don’t want to disappoint Mum. In fact, everyone will be in attendance—the entire Scott clan of Karyn, myself, and Ethan, plus significant others and children, and the Carter family, which includes Tom’s mother, his brother, two sisters, their partners, and more children. Our brood has grown over the past year or so, and I expect that we will continue to multiply with the upcoming marriages. Not me. I’ll be attending the party alone, leaving alone, and returning to California, where it will only be me.