Page 39 of View With Your Heart

I lick my lips, knowing this would be the moment to tell him the truth. The reason I’m shutting him out is because I can’t allow myself to open up to him. Once he knows the secret I’ve kept from him, he’ll never want to speak to me again, and that will honestly hurt as much as his absence the last thirteen years.

Still, he’s been giving me more and more about him, and I feel like I should tell him something.

“It’s as Tom probably told you. Leo wasn’t great at keeping up with his bills. When he died, although his home and the land were paid outright, he hadn’t paid the tax bill for something like five or six years. When the inheritance transferred to me, the State found out, and I need to pay with interest in arrears.” I brush hair over one ear, and I sigh. “It’s a lot to take on.”

“Are you not doing well with the TeasMe!?” He’s cautious as he asks, not prying but curious.

“It’s doing great for a small business only in its second year. I’m fortunate the community has embraced us, and the tourism helps, but it’s not enough to pay a million-dollar tax bill.”

Gavin sits back. “It’s that much?”

“Close enough, give or take a few thousand.” Or a hundred thousand. The truth is, I don’t know how I’m going to pay it all back, but I will. I’m determined to keep my business and the land.

“I could help you.”

“No!” I snap a little too loudly and turn to glance around us, checking to see if I’ve drawn attention. “No, this is exactly why I didn’t want to mention anything. I’ll figure it out.”

Gavin stares at me, more questions in his head, but he doesn’t continue to pry.

“Let me just add, if you ever need anything, I want to be here for you.” His hand reaches across the table. “I don’t want to lose you like I did all those years ago.”

He’s been saying it over again and again, and I hate how it’s burrowing under my skin and reaching for my heart when I know it can’t be true. He’s going to leave.

“You go back to California the day after the wedding, right?” I ask, wanting final clarification on how long Gavin will be in town, giving myself the new goal of telling him what I need to tell him before he leaves.

“Yep. Fly out on Sunday.” He starts his explanation with enthusiasm and ends as if reality takes over. He only has one more week. That gives me seven days to find the strength to come clean. “I’d still like to see you again. Think we could just enjoy each day as it comes until then?”

It’s reminiscent of when we were teens. When he told me he wanted to see me again after kissing me at Duke’s party, and we were almost inseparable throughout the remainder of that summer.

“I’d like to just make it through this dinner,” I tease, knowing I can’t promise him every day. My heart can’t take it.

“I can’t wait for dessert.” His eyes dip, roaming down the top half of my body, and I shiver in my seat. He’s such a flirt, but we won’t be going any further than this meal. Our kiss outside was . . . unexplainable . . . but I don’t deem it a mistake. It was an apology kiss, that’s all. Nothing more. I might owe him more than a few apology kisses once I finally tell him my secret.

We pass through the remainder of dinner with lighter talk about his favorite movies from the festival and the famous entertainers he met. I marvel at the actor names he drops, easily impressed that he’s met a few of my idols. He already knows a ton of industry people, both in front of the camera and behind it. Overall, Gavin is successful, but there’s an undercurrent of the superficial. He’s missing out on simpler things in life, like his family or a family of his own, and I don’t envy him in that manner. I’d never trade knowing famous people in the world with knowing the handful of people I adore in this small town. I’d also never give up my tight family of Gee and me.

The night is growing dark, but the fireworks won’t start until the sky is black.

“I should check on Gee,” I say, turning for my phone in my bag.

“You mentioned you caved on him hanging with friends at the carnival,” Gavin confirms.

“I did, but I was able to oversee most of the area from Jenna’s apartment balcony.”

Gavin’s brows pinch. “I didn’t mean to pull you away from your friends. Being a mom is a big responsibility.” It’s said with genuine respect for my position.

“It is, and as he’s all I have, I worry constantly.” With the deaths of most of the people I consider family—Leo, Gertie, and Patrick—my circle is small. I speak with my mother once a week, but it’s strained. I don’t speak to my father at all. I’m an only child who has an only child, and this causes me to hover sometimes.

“I get it,” Gavin says. “But from the little interchange I’ve had with him, he seems like a great kid, and with you as his mother, he can’t go wrong.” Gavin praises. “He’s only twelve. How much mischief could he get into?”

“How much trouble did you cause when you were twelve?” I question, tipping up a brow. Gavin chuckles in response, accepting Gee could do any number of things. However, Gee is a good kid, and I need to allow him to grow and spread his wings.

A quick text confirms he’s still at the carnival. A second text to Theo backs up Gee’s answer. When the fireworks are over, Gee is to meet me at the car behind the shop.

“Why don’t you leave your car for Theo to drive him home? I can take you to your place instead.” Gavin glances down at his empty beer bottle, twirling it back and forth on the table. “Or you could come to the condo for a bit. With a third-floor balcony, you’d have a spectacular view of the fireworks.”

I should say no. Everything in me tells me this is a bad idea, but when Gavin looks up at me, hesitant and hopeful, I cave.

“Let me see if that works for Theo.”