Page 62 of View With Your Heart

“Vague much,” Jacob teases.

“Well, what about you?” Ethan pokes at his future brother-in-law.

“We have the baby coming first.” Jacob’s got a hard edge to his face, but his expression brightens at the mention of the baby. I’ve been told he’s a changed man with Pam at his side.

“Wait, when was this banging weekend?” Tom asks, returning to my sex life with Britton.

“About thirteen years ago,” I say, admitting my own guilt.

Tom chuckles, but slowly, his brows crease. “Thirteen years ago, you say?”

“What was thirteen years ago?” Jess interjects, finally joining his own party.

“The last time Gavin had sex with Britton,” Leon explains, and I shake my head. When did I become the focus of this day?

“He probably had sex with her last night, so it hasn’t been that long,” Jess says, scowling at me as he warned me to stay away from her.

“We did not have sex last night,” I proudly state.

“No, it was two nights ago,” Jacob throws in, and I shake my head again.

“Busted,” Ethan teases as my face heats, and I swipe a hand through my hair.

“Isn’t today supposed to be about Jess?” I nod to face my friend standing near the dining room table.

“Don’t talk to me about sex. I wasn’t allowed to get any yesterday.”

“Aw, you big baby,” Tom teases of his younger brother.

“You’re just jealous that I’m getting any,” Jess mocks of his brother.

“Damn right, I am,” Tom mutters, lifting his beer for his mouth, and Ethan and I catch eyes across the table, wondering if everything is okay between our sister and her husband.

Eventually, the time comes for us to get dressed, and we pair off into rooms on the upper level of the Carter house. As Jess had been married before, initially, he didn’t want to wear a tux, and apparently, this had been an issue. However, this wasn’t Emily second marriage, so Jess acquiesced, wanting everything on this day to be perfect for her.

In Pam and Tricia’s old bedroom, Ethan and I stare at our reflections in the mirror. We wear matching black tuxedos. We both have wild wavy hair, but while Ethan’s is a little out of control, mine is styled and gelled back, cut shorter on the sides to keep it tame. We match in stature with broad shoulders and our tall height, but our eyes have a slight variation of brown. While Ethan’s are a bit lighter, mine are dark, and something is familiar with my own eyes. For a moment, it’s like I’m seeing myself for the first time, which is ridiculous.

“It will happen for you one day, G,” Ethan says to me, misreading my expression and startling me with the use of my nickname from when I was a kid. I’m reminded of learning last night that Britton’s son Gee is actually named Gavin.

“I know,” I lie, feeling as if falling in love, staying in love, and getting married are outside my reach despite the strong emotions revived by spending time with Britton.

Between Ethan’s calling me by my nickname and thoughts of Gee, I take a second look at myself in the mirror, hesitating at what I see. Something is puzzling me that I can’t quite put my finger on. Like knowing you forgot something from a grocery list or entering a room to forget what you’re doing in there. When Ethan claps my back and says it’s time to leave, I shake off my thoughts as nerves about the wedding.

+ + +

I don’t see Britton as we seat people within the barn. The place is decked out with white folding chairs facing the wide, double barn doors. The doors are open, and the hope is to capture the lowering sun while Jess and Emily exchange vows. The orchard is a close background while the lake glitters off in the distance. I haven’t been inside the barn since that summer with Britton, and it’s a bit surreal to see it all prettied up with new reinforcements, heat and electricity, and the splash of white in chairs, linen-covered tables, and strings of white lights over the entire space.

Asked to step off to the side, we line up to meet the bridesmaids, and I finally see Britton has been seated with Gee beside her. He’s all spiffed up with a suitcoat and bowtie. Britton looks beautiful with her hair down in loose curls and pinned back at the sides. She’s wearing a bright blue dress which matches her eyes, and I’d like to catch her sight, but we’re being hustled into position.

Eventually, Ethan and Ella lead the way down the aisle. I’m next with Pam Carter on my arm. Tricia and Leon follow me, and Tom and Emily’s sister, Grace, bring up the rear. Jess steps over, and we all focus on the smallest member of the wedding party, making her way down the aisle. Katie Carter is the cutest thing in her little white dress and her blond hair styled like a crown on her head. She looks like a princess, and my eyes find Britton, who is watching my friend’s daughter. Briefly, I wonder what a daughter of Brit’s would look like. Would she have blond hair and blue eyes like her?

The music flares, and Emily enters, walking down the aisle on her own as her parents are both deceased. I overheard Emily explain she was giving herself away, but Jess surprises everyone and walks down the aisle to meet her. This isn’t what we practiced, but he joins her mid-aisle, takes her hand, kissing her fingers, and then they continue down the aisle together. I notice Britton swiping at her cheeks, and I wonder if she’s remembering her own wedding day. She was probably a beautiful bride. Suddenly, I realize there isn’t a picture of her, or her and her husband, within her house. It seems strange as women love that kind of thing, but the ceremony begins, drawing my attention to the proceedings.

Do you, John James Carter, take Emily Marie Post to be your wife? The traditional vows continue until Emily is asked the same question.

Do you, Emily Marie Post, take John James Carter to be your husband?

With the forever love flowing between these two during this ceremony, it seems like only a legality to seal them in matrimony. The ceremony is quickly over, and the wedding party proceeds back down the aisle and outside for pictures. We’re arranged and re-arranged in a variety of combinations for shot after shot and pose after pose. After what feels like a lifetime, we’re released, and I finally find Britton mingling amid the crowd gathered on the grass for drinks.