Page 16 of The Heart Remembers

I’m not quite so cavalier about it, but I’ve had years to come to terms with my situation and meds for the times I can’t. Yet, nothing feels as good as the arms of this woman around me. Not even riding that horse earlier, reminding me of horse therapy, felt as good as this moment.

Katie leans back. “Oh, is this a date? I feel like I’ve just attended a therapy session.” Her voice teases, breaking the tension around us, and she chuckles, though it’s without humor.

“Who would want this to be a date?” I tease. “All the cool was sucked out of this thing.”

Katie chuckles harder, her arms slipping down my biceps, and I feel the loss of her. She’s retreating, and I want to pull her back to me, but I sense how raw we both are with our honesty, and I let her leave me. She slides back across the blanket and opens the fruit container instead.

We spend the next minutes trying to recover this withered date with small talk about how one day I’d like to own some land and have space for AJ to run around like a tyrant. We also discuss the remaining events for Tom’s party week, and a strange sense of finality comes to me.

This week will end, and my time with her will be up before I can try to be the hero she deserves.

Then again, I’ll never be a hero, and she doesn’t need one anyway.

She’s been the hero of her own story.

+ + +

When we finally return to the house, the living room is full of women getting their nails painted, and Katie tells her mother she’ll be back in a minute to join them. Tricia put AJ down for a nap, and I’m so grateful for her continued care of him, giving me a bit of a break these past couple of days. I walk with Katie to our upper-level rooms, and we both pause in the hallway. I want to reach for her but hesitate. Stopping to stare at one another, I feel the tension from our earlier conversation circling us. I want to kick myself once more for things getting so heavy, sharing our sad histories, when the day was intended to thank her for last night and explain how I’m not a lush like I’ve come across.

“Well, I’ll see you later,” I say, sounding like I’m uncertain how to end a date.

“Oh, is this a date?” she’d asked. Hell yes, I wanted it to be a date, but maybe it was better to consider it two people who grew up in the same circle sharing some time together.

Yeah, I didn’t like that explanation, but I didn’t know how to explain myself. Instead, I step closer to her, place my hand on her hip, and lean in to kiss her cheek.

“Thanks for spending some time with me.” I slowly pull away from her, dragging my scruff-covered jaw against her cheek. Those wide expressive eyes look up at me, a little stunned, a little dazed. She doesn’t speak, and I step away. Katie nods, reaching behind her for her doorknob and turning it. The door opens, and she steps back, giving me a cautious wave. Tipping my chin at her, I force a smile and turn for my own room. As she’s disappeared into her room, I stop at my door, bang my forehead lightly against it, and close my eyes.

“You are such an idiot,” I mutter to myself, knowing I just blew it with my brutal honesty and war story. It’s a lot to take in, and there are moments when I think AJ is missing his hearing because of what I’ve done. The child suffers the sins of the parent. The screams of those children will forever haunt me, but my son won’t hear a sound unless I decide to get the cochlear implants when he’s one.

“Levi?” Katie’s quiet voice lifts my head, and I spin to face her. I don’t have time to think before I feel her hands on my chest, slipping up to my nape. Soft words from her brush over my lips.

“Thank you for today.”

Thank you for your service. It’s the same breathy voice she used when we were in the alley. Then her mouth is on mine, crushing her lips against me. Our lips move in tandem, chasing each other before she starts to pull away, and just like that night, I won’t let her go. Digging my fingers into her waist, I pull her to me, pressing my hard length against her softness. The kiss is so powerful she’s arching back, but our lips remain attached, seeking, searching, begging for more. Her tongue rushes forward, and I open, welcoming her charge. Her hands slip around the back of my head, holding me to her as her body dips underneath mine. Our mouths kiss and kiss and . . .

“Katie bug, are you coming?”

Jesus, I want her to come. I want to make her come so hard she never forgets me, but that isn’t what her mother means, and we break apart. Our chests heave, and Katie covers her lips with her fingers. I bend at the waist as if I’ve run a mile, trying to hide the heavy bulge in my jeans and catch my breath after that kiss.

“I should . . .” Katie points at the staircase.

“Yeah, me too . . .” I hitch my thumb toward my room and AJ. But then I straighten myself, and Katie moves, crossing before me. I catch her around the waist.

“One more,” I mutter, looking up to meet her eyes and her lips curl. My mouth crushes against hers again, and her fingertips grasp my jaw as my palm flattens on her lower back, holding her against me. She smiles against my mouth, effectively breaking the kiss. Lowering as she must have tipped up on her toes, she rolls her lips inward and nods once. Her hands slip to my chest before she releases me, heading for the staircase and disappearing down it like she did when she was seventeen, and I’d hurt her feelings by kissing her.

Please don’t let her think I’ve taken advantage of her this time around.

7

[Katie]

I can’t concentrate for the rest of the day. Between what I’d learned and the kiss in the hallway, I am a distracted mess. Eventually, Tom and crew, including my father, arrive hours later than expected with pizza. Aunt Karyn is still upset with her husband, and Tricia ignores her brother after she carefully constructed a plan for the week. Everyone needs a little time-out separation after dinner.

I promised my little sister Daisy I’d walk with her into town for ice cream. It might have been a bit ambitious for us, but a good way to pass the time and a chance to catch up with her. Shortly after my parents married, they had my little brother, John, who is now eighteen, and two years later came Daisy.

When I went off to college, they were both relatively young, and while I consider myself a good big sister, I can’t say we are close. I know Daisy looks up to me, and I try to give her attention when I’m home, but this trip has been difficult.

We chat about high school for her and a boy she likes. We talk about Dad being overbearing at times and Mom being overinvolved. I chuckle as she tells me things I already know about our parents.