Page 29 of The Heart Remembers

I don’t move. Suddenly, I can’t swim. Blood rushes through my veins, but my body doesn’t function.

“Uncle Gavin,” Katie yells. “Pull up to him. Levi, hang on.”

The fear in her face has my concern growing, and I attempt a few strokes to pull myself forward. Gavin cuts the engine, and Katie stands on the edge of the boat, ready to dive in.

“I’m almost there,” I say, moving as fast as my body will allow, which isn’t fast enough. As I near the back deck, Katie holds out a hand, but I ignore it, pulling myself upright with the ladder.

“What happened?” she says to me, fear dancing in her eyes. As soon as I can, I toss myself on the flat surface and struggle to stand. My legs are shaky. My lungs burn. Katie steps farther onto the boat, allowing me space to stand, and when I do, I lunge for her, tugging her to me.

Her hands slip under my arms and wrap around my back. I press her to me, squeezing her against my body.

“I thought I lost you,” I choke out near her ear, still shaking with the adrenaline rush of the ride and the surge of fear that she’d slipped into the darkness of the water.

“It’s okay,” she murmurs, her voice muffled into my chest. “I’m okay.” She presses a kiss near my heart, which I’m certain she can feel pounding under my skin.

“Let’s sit down,” she says, not addressing the tremor to my body. I swipe a hand over my hair but keep my arm around her, hopping as she guides me only a foot to the back bench.

“You okay, man?” Gavin says, and I look up to find everyone watching us. I should release Katie, but I’m still clinging to her, arm hooked over her shoulder, holding her against me.

“Yeah, I’m good.” It’s a lie. I just need a minute.

“What happened?” Katie asks, shifting only a little as I’m not allowing her to move away from me.

“I just . . . fuck, I panicked.” I turn to her, sitting forward and searching her face. My hands reach for the sides of her head before one slips to the back of it. “Did I hurt you? Did I hit you? I felt us collide.”

“I don’t know. I think we just knocked heads, or my head hit your shoulder.”

“Were you drowning?” I’m freaking the fuck out that she lost consciousness, although she’s sitting right next to me.

“I’m fine. I was just stunned, but I quickly righted myself.” Her eyes search mine. “I’m right here.”

Fuck, I want to kiss her. My fingers twitch at the back of her head, desperate to pull her to me and crush her mouth, breathe her air, and assure myself she’s really fine. Instead, I press a too quick kiss to her forehead. Hesitantly, Katie glances up at me before she curls under my arm and wraps her arms around me again. Placing her head on my shoulder, I wrap my arm around her back. Gavin watches us before slowly smiling, as if he understands.

“Okay, who’s next?” he calls out, addressing the rest of the boat and drawing the attention away from us. His teenage boys volunteer, and his wife, Britton, walks up to him, pressing a kiss to his neck. He wraps his arm around her while they watch their boys buckle into life vests. Maybe they understand even more than I know.

With all the focus back on the next round of tubers, I turn and kiss Katie’s forehead again, letting my lips linger longer than necessary. It’s the best I can give when I really want to take her down to this bench seat and bury myself in her. I want to be connected to her in the way only two people can, but I’ll settle for this—her at my chest with our arms wrapped around one another as if we’ll never let the other go.

+ + +

As it nears dinnertime, the boats pull up to Tom’s dock, and all riders exit for his large backyard filled with only family, which is still a crew. I can’t imagine the party tomorrow night, and it makes me a bit nervous as I don’t do well with crowds.

Once on land, I follow Katie, afraid to let her out of my sight, and I’m constantly touching her as though she’ll disappear if I don’t. My fingers drag down her side or hold her waist just over her hip. Or my hand circles her wrist, just hanging onto her. Or our fingers brush, entangling for a squeeze before separating. If it wasn’t so Neanderthal, I’d tug her onto my lap and just keep her with me. However, her dad is eyeing me again, and I know he’s seeing something, at least from me.

“What happened today?” he asks his daughter.

“We were tubing and fell in. I blame Uncle Gavin,” Katie says, narrowing her eyes, pointing two fingers at them before swinging them in Gavin’s direction, insinuating she’s watching him. He laughs and throws up an arm while shaking his head, acting innocent. He’s a filmmaker, so he knows how to act.

“But afterward?” Jess Carter asks, not giving up the topic, and I’m assuming someone reported how Katie and I clung to each other. Seeing as my hand was on her lower back when he approached, and then I ran it up her spine and around her nape, I’m not really fooling him. I’m into his daughter, but I release her, slipping my hand into my pocket to keep from touching her for five seconds.

Katie looks over at me and then back at her dad. “It was nothing, Dad.”

Still watching me, Jess doesn’t believe her, so I speak up. “I had a panic attack. I thought Katie went under.”

“And you thought you could save her?”

Holding her father’s eyes, which match the blue in Katie’s, I sternly reply, “I’d take a bullet for her, sir, if necessary.”

Katie’s mouth falls open as she looks back and forth between her father and me. “No one’s taking bullets for anyone. I’m fine. Like Levi said, just a little panic. It’s nothing.” She leans over and pats her father’s chest. “Where’s Mom? Get a beer. Go distract her.”