Page 24 of Living at 40

“I just have this weird feeling about Ben.”

The mention of the man who brought us together has goose bumps rising on my sweat-coated skin. “What about him?”

“Something’s off.”

Now that he mentions it, I feel the same way, and it’s not just the announcement to move back here.

“What are you thinking?”

“He’s not drinking. Did you notice that? He opens a beer, but it just sits next to him.”

“Are you thinking he has an issue?” Mason shakes his head in response. Out of all of us, Zack would be the more likely candidate for a drinking problem. Not that I think he has one, but he has a tendency to overindulge.

“Do you think something’s going on with Anna?”

Mason shakes his head again. “I’m pretty certain the happy couple is still the happiest couple.”

“But do you think she’s pressuring him to stop drinking, or to move, or something else?” Anna McCaryn is the money in the relationship. The wealth of her family meant she’d never have to work if she didn’t want to, but her generous heart made her want to be a teacher and deal with other people’s children every day. Where she taught wasn’t in the safest of neighborhoods in the Chicago area, but she loved her job, or so I thought, before this announcement to relocate.

“I don’t know what it is. It’s just a hunch.” Mason casually leans over the car door, lowering his chin for his crossed arms.

“Hunch? Since when do you have a hunch?” I tease.

“Since I see the way you’re nearly salivating over Autumn. Man, I get that you’re single again, but you can’t be desperate.”

“Being with her isn’t desperate,” I defend.

“I’m not saying it’s a desperate move. I’m saying you can’t be that hungry.” He eyes my body. “You still got it, right?”

“Are we talking about my dick?” I snap.

“Well. You certainly had me working a semi last night with that near kiss.” He’s teasing me. While there’s no doubt Mason would share a woman with another man, he would not be interested in the other man.

“Fuck off.” I laugh, and he chuckles, swiping at his hair.

“Seriously, what is it with her?”

“It’s nothing,” I lie, downplaying my rising emotions and my heightening libido at the mere idea of being with her.

“That’s right. It’s nothing. This is Ben’s sister. Plus, she wants a kid. Are you really thinking you’d be a dad again?”

“Are you?” I bark. In my opinion, Mason’s a shitty father, but I’m not about to call him out on his responsibilities. He’s a grown man, and it’s not my place to tell him how to act. I want to hope there’s more to his story, but sometimes, I just don’t know that there is.

“Autumn isn’t looking for a daddy for her kid. She just wants sex to make a baby.”

Instantly, my teeth grind at Mason so casually discussing Autumn’s intentions and the fear that she and Mason have had a real discussion about the possibility of him fathering her future child.

“Is that what you meant when you said you two would talk later? You’d be talking about sex to give her a baby?” The question comes out with all the passive-aggressive feelings I have on the subject of Mason hooking up with Autumn.

He tilts his head, taking a second to ponder me. “Don’t you think we should leave it up to the lady to decide?”

“Fuck,” I mutter again, turning my head from him. He knows she’d pick him over me any day, and I don’t want to have an age-old argument about him leaving some women for us lesser men. Autumn isn’t some woman. She should be someone’s person.

“You really want her, don’t you?” I don’t see why he’s surprised. Autumn is a catch, but I’m not looking to release her. I want her in a way I can’t explain. Mason continues to eye me for a long time before he mockingly adds, “I’ll be the first to congratulate you when you get engaged.”

“Who’s talking about marriage?” I scoff. “I’m not getting married again.” Pfft. Is he kidding me? Only, I see in his eyes, he’s not joking, and the retort tasted bitter on my tongue. Could I really have a baby with Autumn and walk away? Could I not marry her if I got her pregnant? Quickly, I remind myself I’d be doing what Autumn wants. She wants a baby, not a husband, and that’s my out.

Mason tips his head in disbelief. “That’s why I’d be a better choice. We both know I can walk away from shit. I’ve been doing it since we were kids.”