Page 32 of Living at 40

Former jests and jokes poked at me for my heavier weight or my lack of ability make me bristle at the term loser. For a moment last night, I thought Autumn would reject me because I didn’t meet her expectations. I would be a loser once more.

I fight the instant grin wanting to curve my lips as the night turned out to be anything but losing.

“Well, I think we should let Autumn live her life the way she sees fit. She obviously has reasons why she didn’t get pregnant before and why she wants a baby now.”

“It’s called desperation. She’s approaching forty.”

“Don’t be an ass. Maybe she has other reasons for wanting a baby.” I flip the next batch of pancakes and step over to the island for the serving plate. Returning to the griddle, I waited a beat too long to turn them over, and the fluffy batter browns quickly. Scooping up the new set, I fill the plate and hand it to Zack.

As Zack’s son Oliver knocks over a glass of orange juice and the liquid streams to the edge of the island, he mumbles under this breath. “I don’t know why anyone would want one of these monsters.”

He doesn’t mean it, but I understand his frustration. He hasn’t had to deal with his children alone enough. Maybe he’s the one who needs to get rid of his loser wife.

13

[Autumn]

In the middle of the night, I wake to a sudden press of kisses on my shoulder. A warm hand palms my upper arm, and I smile despite the long day.

When I finally made it back to the cottage, Anna sat alone on the patio.

“Where is everyone?” The quiet made me suspicious.

“The guys thought they were twenty-one and decided to down a few gin and tonics after a long day of sunshine. Zack bribed Bryce to watch his boys again, and he took off with Mason about an hour ago.”

Uh-oh. That sounded like trouble waiting to happen.

“When I went to check on Logan, he was facedown on his bed, passed out and snoring, and Ben was sick.”

Shit. I lowered to the seat beside Anna. “Is he okay?” Ben should not be drinking.

“He’s living his best YOLO, he tells me.” The hardy sip she takes of her wine tells me she disapproves of his actions, and I have to agree with her.

“Will he be okay?”

“He’ll have a wicked hangover as I imagine they all will. At least tomorrow they’re going golfing for the day.” Anna stared off at the descending sun.

“I’m sorry I was late.”

Rolling her head on the back of the patio chair, she gives me a weak smile. “You have your own life to live, Autumn. You don’t owe anyone an apology.”

“But I promised I’d be here to help out.”

“Oh, they did this to themselves.” She snorted, lifting her glass and taking another drink. I helped myself to the bottle, and we sat in silence as the sun disappeared beneath the waterline.

Eventually, I made my way to bed, worrying that drinking might not be best for me if I’m working on getting pregnant. Then I was just agitated because I found myself upset that Logan wouldn’t be joining me after all this evening, and I’d been looking forward to another round of sex with him. I shouldn’t have been as eager as I was. It’s only sex.

Yet here he is, waking me with kisses over my shoulder and up to my neck. At least, I hope it’s him.

“Who is this?” I tease, and he freezes.

“Logan,” he cautiously states. “Were you expecting someone else?”

“Ryan Reynolds but he’s taken,” I joke.

“Ah, are you a Deadpool girl?” he mumbles, returning his lips to my neck.

“More like his calendar girl girlfriend, which reminds me this day is lost.” I hate the sour tone I take, reminding myself he is kissing me. “I was sleeping, by the way.”