Page 74 of Living at 40

Mason starts to laugh, and Zack smiles. “That’s why I love you, man.” His hand limply smacks at my knee. “Funny man.”

“Well, funny man wouldn’t know about dick shriveling. His dick is getting some serious use, lucky bastard.” Mason lifts the bottle for a quick drink, and I don’t know how he has the stomach for such action at our age.

“My dick is not overused, but we aren’t discussing my dick either,” I tell my two drunk friends.

“Better than abused,” Mason sarcastically mutters.

“As if your dick has been abused,” I snark.

“Too many women want it. Not the right woman.”

“Who?” I snap, curious. We’ve all thought Mason might harbor some resentment toward an old crush gone wrong, but we have no clue who it is. I’m doubtful it’s Samantha, Lynlee’s mother.

“No can say,” he mumbles through a drunken half-smile.

“Don’t say,” Zack rolls his head back and forth on the cushions like he knows the answer Mason should never share the truth.

“You are one lucky man, though,” Mason adds, pointing a limp finger at me around the bottleneck in his fist. “Autumn has had the hots for you since she was a teen, and now look at you two. Making a baby together. Getting married.”

“What?” Zack turns to peer at me with unfocused eyes.

“You had to know,” I remind him. He was part of the discussions. “Remember her list, although she never really had a list.”

“Right, right,” Zack slurs. “A list. I should make a list. Maybe one of all the women I’d like to fuck, or the positions I want to try, or the things I want to do as I haven’t had sex in so long I’m not certain I remember what it is.”

Dear God, that was more than we needed to know about our Zacker. Mason snorts but turns his attention back to me.

“Seriously, though, congratulations, man.”

“On what?”

“I told you I’d be the first to congratulate you when you get engaged.” Mason’s comment reminds me of when he said such a thing outside Crossroads Café.

“I’m not getting married,” I huff. Although I thought it less than an hour ago, I’m not admitting it yet to these clowns.

“You’re getting married?” Zack’s voice rises an octave like a surprised and excited schoolgirl as if he wasn’t part of our conversation two seconds ago. “I’m married, too. But now I’m getting divorced.”

“Zack, buddy. You need to head to bed.” Zack and I share a room, the one with two twin beds, while Mason has the other room with a queen-sized bed.

“I need a bed,” he whispers. “I need to get laid so bad.” His lids start to close, and our friend is at the end of his tequila threshold.

Glancing over at Mason, I notice him watching me, but I don’t have any more words for him. I have a phone call to make to my hot as fuck girlfriend. We’re making this official, effective tonight.

29

[Autumn]

Logan: Will you be my girlfriend?

My phone lights up with the text as soon as I crawl into bed, and a smile instantly graces my face.

Logan: I’m told it’s not official unless I ask.

Me: Let me guess? Miss Bethany Simone?

Logan: ugh.

Me: Not a fan?