Page 93 of Living at 40

Autumn fights a grin. “Six weeks.”

“How do you feel?” She’s pregnant.

She shrugs, but she smiles larger as her hand covers mine over her stomach.

She’s going to be a mother, and I’m going to be a father again.

“We’re going to have a baby,” I whisper to her.

“We’re going to have a baby,” she repeats.

“I’m going to fill you with them.” Taking a deep breath, I glance up at the ceiling in need of repair before blowing out a breath and noting the hardwood floors that need refinishing. This house is a project, but I’m excited to take every step of it. I’m excited to live here with her. My Autumn. A new beginning. A permanent change. “I’m going to fill this house with them.”

“Maybe we should take this one baby at a time,” she teases.

“One baby at a time,” I say, leaning forward to kiss her again. I want nothing more than to devour her and lay her out on this cracked wood floor. I want to bury myself inside her, and celebrate this moment, but we have other repairs to be made first.

“I’m going to love you the right way every day. You’ll see.”

37

[Autumn]

For the next weeks, I do see.

The house was the first gesture. Logan bought it under Lorna’s guidance. He told me how they had a long talk about each of their futures. What they wanted. What would make them happy, and Logan admitted that he’d been holding back because he didn’t want more change to disrupt Lorna’s life. Lorna was happy to let her life change one more time. The kids at school knew too much of her story. Her mother left her behind, and it hurt.

Logan and Lorna wouldn’t officially be moving to Lakeside until they closed on the house, which would be another month, but Logan’s place was up for sale. He gave notice that he’d be leaving by the holidays to his architectural firm and sought the means to invest in Four Points.

For us, the next thing to happen was phone calls and virtual dinner dates through video conferencing. In a sense, we returned to who we had been, but this time it was more. It wasn’t just sex. In fact, there was no sex between us. Logan teased and flirted, but he didn’t press for naked video time and sexy texts. We learned more about one another.

When I had my next doctor’s visit, Logan took the day off, drove three hours, and attended with me. He swore he didn’t want to miss a minute. We agreed not to tell Lorna until I was past the first trimester, which wouldn’t be until after the holidays. For now, it was a moment just for us.

Every weekend, they traveled to Lakeside. Lorna’s soccer season was over, and Logan allowed her to quit piano lessons.

“What did you tell Chloe?” He didn’t let Chloe take their daughter overseas, but he was removing her from their original home state.

“Chloe?” He snorted when I asked. “My ex-wife has hardly called her daughter. Hell, you’ve had more contact with Lorna in the past months than her mom.”

I’d been vigilant to maintain a relationship with Lorna, mainly because we shared that kindred spirit I felt. I wanted to be a pseudo-aunt or fairy godmother to her, if I wasn’t going to be anything else. I still had not accepted Logan’s marriage proposal, and he hadn’t asked again after that first weekend. Still, we moved forward in preparation for his closing on the house.

When Logan came to Lakeside, he stayed in the garage apartment with Mason, allowing Lorna to sleep in Mila’s room. The two girls really were the best of friends, and the separation allowed Logan some of the free time he needed. He spent those extra moments with me.

We talked. We held hands. We kissed, but we did not take it further than heavy groping and some torturous grinding.

“I’m not making love to you again until we’re living in the same zip code,” he teased one night as we sat on blankets in the empty house he would soon move into. It was unorthodox to enter the house before Logan officially signed on the line, but Mason knew the realtor. She was someone he hooked up with once, and she owed him a favor, so Logan had keys to enter as needed to discuss things with the contractors. We sat in our familiar position of me between his legs, my back to his chest. “In the same house.”

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” I tease. Logan’s place had sold rather quickly, and the timing coordinated that he’d move here and virtually close on his place.

“Yes.” His adamant response startles me.

“I’m kidding,” I tell him, lessening the pressure.

“I’m not. I want us in the same house, same bed.”

“Don’t you think it’s too soon?” I question. “Lorna will need time to adjust to the move, and you’ll be busy, and—"

“I think it shows Lorna how truly committed I am to us. While her mother ran off to live with a man in France, I’m bringing Lorna with me to live with my future wife. Plus, you’re having my baby, which will be her little brother or sister. We’ve been apart long enough. I’m ready to start living with you day in and day out.”