Page 96 of Living at 40

“Who’s this?” Ben asked although he was already aware we had a baby.

“Benjamin Michael Anders meet Benjamin Traverse Kulis.”

Ben blinks as Autumn hands baby Ben to me, and I pass my son to him. Anna stepped up to cradle her hands under Ben’s arms as he held his namesake. A tear fell down Ben’s cheek, and Anna was quick to swipe it from his face.

“He’s so beautiful, Autumn.”

My own eyes burned as I watched my best friend gaze at my newest child.

“He definitely takes after his mother.”

I softly chuckled. “Hey.”

“But I know you’ll have the heart of your father,” Ben stated as if he already knew my son. I can only hope he’ll live up to every letter of his namesake.

Autumn swiped at her face and reached for my hand, and I squeezed her fingers with my own. Slowly, Ben lifted his head and looked at his wife.

“It’s time to go home, my love,” he stated to her, and Anna’s eyes widened.

“But—”

“No buts. I want to go home.” There was no bark to his words but still strength in his demand. Ben didn’t want to end his days in a hospital, and we all knew what he was requesting.

Ben wanted to return to Lakeside Cottage.

+ + +

It’s a blustery day in mid-July, roughly two weeks after the birth of my baby boy. Zack and his boys are present, staying in the garage apartment with Mason. Anna and Autumn plan to entertain the girls as Autumn is desperate to get out of the house. A trip to the beach didn’t seem wise to me at first, but with baby Ben strapped to my chest, we begin the laborious trek down to the water from Lakeside Cottage.

Mason and Zack take turns carrying Ben down the one-hundred-fifty wooden steps, resting at the landing to change carriers. Bryce and Calvin have gone ahead with Zack’s little terrors, who seem to be even more hellacious in their mother’s absence.

When we finally arrive on the sand, a pop-up canopy covers two sand chairs, and Ben is settled into one of them. I take the other, keeping the baby in the shade while Mason and Zack hover on the edges. Silently at first, we watch Bryce and Calvin toss a football as Trevor and Oliver run between the older boys as if they can catch the ball floating over their heads.

“Those kids are crazy,” Mason states, watching the younger set run back and forth, back and forth.

“I know,” Zack moans, rubbing a hand down his face. “But they’re also kids.”

“Nothing you can really do but love them,” Ben states in his permanently graveled voice. A large beach towel wraps around him despite the warmth of the day. The brisk breeze cools things off, but the sand bites at my ankles.

“That’s the future of Four Points,” Mason says, still watching the boys, and I realize he’s correct.

Our business venture began around the new year, and we’ve worked hard to get every project started. Ben hasn’t been as involved as we hoped, but he’s been present when he could. Mostly what he’s done is update files and plans, leaving things in place for someone to take his place in the landscape division. We offered the position to Anna, but she wants to continue subbing at the local high school in hopes of a permanent position this fall.

“It’s the cycle of life,” Ben suddenly states, staring off at his sons. “You live and love, lose and learn, and then you start all over again.”

Ben isn’t wrong. In many ways, we lived different lives when we were younger. We fell in love, and some of us fell out of it. We lost parents and wives. We learned hard lessons, and in my case, started over again. Autumn has been the life change I needed, along with the new business, the move, and the baby. And, of course, having Lorna full-time has made a big difference.

“To the cycle,” Mason states, holding up a beer he grabbed from the cooler one of the boys lugged to the beach.

“To the future,” Ben states, his eyes still focused on his children.

“But also to the past,” Zack adds, staring at our sick friend. He’s the one who brought us all together. He’ll always be the True North that points us home.

“To friends forever,” I say as I did on our first reunion last summer.

“Must you sound like a thirteen-year-old girl?” Mason teases, still holding up his beer.

“I like that,” Ben says, and I turn my head to find him looking at me. In our wedding vows, I promised to love Autumn with everything I had. It’s something Ben asked of me. Love her with everything, and she’ll do the same for you. In some ways, I think it’s how he viewed his relationship with his sister. He’d loved her with all he had like he loved each of us, and in return, we loved him for what he’d given us.