Page 49 of Learning at 40

“Their father adores you, too,” Anna adds softly, and my cheeks heat. “Zack and I have been best friends our entire lives. He’s a good man.” She doesn’t need to sell me on him. I already think he’s dazzling but he’s also a work in progress. And he’s leaving at the end of this week.

“I really like him, too.” I shrug and wave a hand to dismiss the topic. “We’re just having fun.”

“Oh.” Anna’s brows pinch again. “I didn’t think . . . I mean, I wasn’t aware . . .”

“What she’s trying to say is she didn’t know you were okay with him leaving soon. Having a little summer fling.” Autumn wiggles her brows again. “Anna’s only fling was Ben, and then it turned into attending college together, marriage, a mortgage, and kids. You get the picture.”

I did get the picture, and it was a beautiful one. “I’m not really a casual girl, but I do realize Zack lives there, and I live here.” My fingertip draws a line on the table as if a map lays on the wood.

Autumn chuckles. “Oh, sister. I’ve been there, then Logan got on board and moved here.”

“I am not asking Zack to move here.” My tone turns a little offended, but that is the last thing I’d do. Zack would have to make his own decision on whether he thought he’d like us to continue, if we are officially an us, and even then, I wouldn’t want to be the sole reason he moved anywhere. Never again do I want to be in a position where I’m accused of causing a man to make life-altering actions against his will. My heart races with the thought.

Anna’s eyes widen. “Why not?”

“Anna,” Autumn mutters, hinting it’s none of their business. Again, I don’t want to lie, but I’m not interested in sharing the truth either.

“I once had a man make a choice with me at the center of that decision. He was a good, kind man, and he gave to me what he gave of his own free will, but I’ve been ridiculed for it. It hurt both me and others, and I don’t want to ever be in that position again.” My voice hardens as I speak, not interested in explaining myself to these lovely women. They might understand, but they might not, and I won’t risk a budding friendship on my sordid past. “I care about Zack and his boys, and I’d never do anything to hurt them,” I add, hoping to soften my tone and clarify my intentions. I didn’t have any other objective than enjoying the moments I have with the three Weller men.

“Men are so confusing,” Anna says. Autumn snorts.

“As if you’d know,” Autumn quips, but then her expression shifts. “Although I know Ben wasn’t perfect.”

“No man is,” Anna admits.

“Thank goodness women are.” I laugh. “And on that note, let’s drink to that.” We raise our glasses and tap the rims before dipping into delicious margaritas.

+ + +

Mason comes to the rescue when we’re a few margaritas in and no longer able to drive home. He drops Autumn at her place and takes Anna and me directly to Anna’s house.

“Zack’s been a pouty-pooper pants all night, so you might as well collect him here,” Mason jokes once he parks Anna’s SUV in the garage.

“Yes, but I live there,” I say, stumbling out of the raised vehicle. “Oops.”

“Well, he’s only going to bribe someone to listen for his boys and sneak over to your place, so it was best to bring you here.”

We aren’t being very stealthy in hiding what’s happening between us. If it wasn’t evident before, the fact I had dinner at the house with the rest of the family and friends on my day off again sealed the deal. Zack didn’t let me move more than a few feet before he’d be at my side, arm around my back, and hand resting on my hip. As if his palm was a puzzle piece made to fit on the curve of my body.

Anna trips on nothing, trying to exit the garage, and bumps into Mason. Surprisingly, he doesn’t exactly catch her as much as stiffen. He allows his chest to be a wall Anna falls against, and she pats him before righting herself. His hands lift as if he’s afraid to touch her.

“I got it,” she mutters when she really doesn’t. Her thin stature had one too many margaritas with the compliment of only chips and guacamole as her dinner. She takes another step forward, and Mason catches her at the waist before she faceplants on the concrete driveway.

Oh, dear.

“I got it,” Anna snaps.

“Clearly, you don’t,” Mason mumbles, scooping Anna into his arms and groaning as if she weighs too much, which is impossible. She’s thin in the I’ve-lost-everything manner of suppressing her appetite. Death has the opposite effect on me. I eat over my grievances. It gets better, I wanted to tell her earlier tonight, but there’s really no way to explain such a thing. Better is relative and personal. We all grieve differently, and there’s no timetable on how long it will take. Anna will never be “over” Ben, but as the song says, her heart will go on, having been better because of Ben. Anna stood beside her husband through a difficult illness, and now she’ll have a year of firsts without him. The road ahead is still long, narrow, and bumpy.

“I miss Ben,” Anna whines, wrapping an arm around Mason’s neck.

“I know, sweetheart,” he says as I follow him to the front door. His tone is tender while strained, and I have a hunch about Mason and his heart.

“River, can you do me a favor?” Mason asks. “Go in and get Zack. See if he can clear out the kids. I don’t want them seeing their mom like this.”

Jeez, that’s sweet. “Sure.”

I fumble with the front door and enter the house. “Zacky, I’m home!” I call out, teasing him with the nickname his friends occasionally use to address him. After crossing the large entryway, I wander to the open concept kitchen and sitting area. This house also has a bar off the kitchen leading outdoors, a formal dining room, a formal living room, a music room, and a den, plus a master suite on the first floor and six bedrooms upstairs. It’s one of the biggest homes I’ve ever been in.