Page 76 of Learning at 40

Zack shakes his head with a laugh. “You’re terrible at negotiation.”

“What’s to negotiate?”

Staring down at me, he grins again, slow and wide. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing.”

After we clean up, we remain naked with only a light blanket over us. Zack lays on his side, perched up on an elbow while his hand lazily glides over my body. His palm skims down my middle, between my breasts, and over my belly.

“Why did he do it?” he asks.

“Why did who do what?”

His hand returns up my center, and a fingertip circles my breast. “Why did Quincy leave this place to you? It had to be more than your kind spirit.”

His fingertip distracts me, and I lick my lip before I speak. “I brought him here to see a sunset. He’d received this place as a settlement. I had no idea it came from your family.” Eyeing him, I want him to know I didn’t know his history. He nods, and I continue.

“He wanted to die someplace beautiful; instead, he passed away in a small hospital room with only nurses at his side.” We didn’t get to stay here. It was a little like springing an inmate from prison, but I don’t use the analogy with Zack.

“I thought he was blind.”

“I described it to him.” Quincy had been in excellent spirits that night. He claimed he could feel the warmth on his skin. As best I could, I explained the brilliance of the half-circle sun, lowered behind the water. The cool glow like a rainbow of golds and oranges effervescing outward. The clouds as they broke off in thin strips like cotton and the deep blue of the water as it rippled like folds of denim with a frayed hem of white as it touched the shore. Thinking of that night, I see it all in my mind’s eye. “Two days later, he died.”

Zack’s forehead furrows as his finger dips down to my belly button, circling the puckered skin before dragging back to the valley between my breasts. “Wills take time. He must have already gifted the property to you before that night.”

I shrug, as I don’t have an answer. “In the will, he said a beautiful place should belong to a beautiful soul. He didn’t mean the house. He meant the view.” I could have returned the house to Quincy’s children. They argued it wasn’t ethical for me to take it, and some would agree, it wasn’t. I was his nurse. He was my patient. Being gifted a large property . . . just isn’t done, yet it happens. I didn’t want it, but after an ugly fight with Daniel, I didn’t want him to have the place either. This was a special spot to Quincy, and as he reminded me of my grandfather, I couldn’t pass on his generous gift. It was the new beginning I didn’t know I needed.

“Quincy reminded me so much of my grandfather in some ways. In others, he wasn’t. Losing him was like losing Grandpa all over again, though, and it was difficult for me.”

Zack nods, considering something. “So just to be clear, you haven’t been married to anyone before him?” He tips up a brow while his finger stills on my skin.

“I haven’t ever been married.”

His forehead furrows again. “Why not?” His voice softens, expressing concern he’ll hurt my feelings.

“I lived with someone for years in my twenties. We grew comfortable with one another, which can lead to being complacent. We just didn’t see it going any further than what it was.” Roommates who occasionally had sex. “We were both too busy. He was an emergency room doctor. After him, I’d been on dates, but nothing serious. I didn’t have the time.”

Zack’s quiet for a moment before he speaks again. “But you make time for love.”

Slowly, I smile. “You make time for love.” Our eyes meet before his expression turns serious.

“I’m grateful Ben was able to come home, be here, although it was difficult for Anna. He stayed in a guest room on the second floor because he didn’t want his illness tainting the master bedroom with haunting memories. He only wanted Anna to remember the good times in their bed.” Zack softly chuckles and looks around my room for the first time.

“It’s different in here. New paint,” he observes. “Different bed and furnishings.” His review moves to the window with sheer coverings. “No haunting memories,” he whispers, and I wonder only briefly if he could ever live in this house again. Would it be too much for him? We’ve only just declared our love so moving in together seems like too much to mention.

“You okay in here?”

“I will be.” He pauses as he glances back at me. “Remember when you asked me to keep my eyes to myself, and I denied I could.” Zack smiles, and I chuckle at the reminder of our first encounter. “You said whatever makes me feel better. And somehow, I knew right at that moment, you, just being with you, would make me feel better.”

“Zack,” I whisper, overwhelmed by him. His gaze roams over my body once more. My shoulders. My breasts. My belly. His look alone is a soft caress. “You do have a beautiful soul. You are sunrise and sunsets, and I want to see them every day with you.”

Deep inside, I light up because I want the same thing.

29

[Zack]

Unfortunately, I had to leave early the next morning, speeding across the state once more to get home to my boys and return to work. I had so much to do and so little time, but I took a deep breath, knowing River and I promised to make time for one another.

When the weekend drew near and Jeanine canceled her scheduled visit with the boys, it didn’t take any coercion to convince Trevor and Oliver we should return to River’s home, even if she had to work the morning shift both days. Her absence would actually give me time to assess the house and see what it needed. I’d noted little things on my too-short visit, like the scuffed floors and awful furniture. Entering her bedroom was like entering a different realm compared to the rest of the house, and I was grateful it was so changed. Not a drop of my parents’ existence in there remained. The wall color. The sheer material covering the windows. Even the placement of the bed made it feel like a new room.