Page 17 of Cowboy

“About that sex. What were you thinking? Every Tuesday and Thursday?” I’m teasing. For as much as sex is on my mind, I don’t think we should have it again until I get a few other things straight in my head. And my heart.

“Is that a yes?” Bull’s brow lifts, furrowing his forehead.

Is this crazy? This is definitely crazy, but I nod, biting the edge of my lip as Bull’s surprised expression turns to a genuine smile. And that smile makes me feel like I’m making the right decision for the first time in weeks. Being here feels right.

“Any day ending in day is good enough for me,” he says, circling back to our benefits discussion. As we stand close to one another, he lifts me off my feet. My arms are crushed to my chest as Bull spins us in a circle. Suddenly, he stops and sets me down, holding me at arm’s length with his hands on my shoulders.

“Sorry, no jostling. I’ll figure that one out.” His eyes focus on mine. His face loses some enthusiasm as his expression turns more serious. “There’s no pressure for anything, though. I only promise this will be good for us both.”

I want to believe him. I really do.

7

Night Two

Bull

Holy hell, she agreed to move in with me.

Not wanting to waste another moment apart, I suggest we drive her back to the Busy Bean, and I follow her to Green Rocks to collect her things. I’d have liked to take her to my room and bury myself inside her to celebrate our new beginning, but I fought the urge. I need to keep my wits about me. This is nothing more than living together.

Parenting partners or something like that.

Because holy shit, I might be a father.

If I’m half as excited about actually being one as I am about the possibility of being one, someone’s going to need to rope me down from the moon.

In my relationship history, I never got past the idea of marriage. I hadn’t considered fatherhood, and with each waning, complicated situation, spreading the family name onto the next generation did not seem like a probability, at least not from me.

This is everything I could have ever hoped for, but I will not allow myself to get carried away. I will not look further than today, and maybe tomorrow, when I need to face my family and tell them what I’ve done.

I’ve asked a woman to live with me.

A woman who might be the mother of my child.

Like I told Scarlett, there won’t be a marriage proposal. No siree, she does not need to worry about that from me. I’ll be perfectly happy to stand by Scarlett as a friend—with some benefits if she’ll let me. Or not. We can just be partners, like I said.

Slowly, my thoughts catch up to me as we wind the mountain roads, once we’ve collected Scarlett’s things. There’s still the possibility of her ex being the baby’s dad. A week between Scarlett and me, and him and her isn’t much to work with. I should be more upset about this, but I’m not. The excitement of having a baby overshadows everything else in my head. Like she said, he was her husband. He’s a fucking idiot for wanting someone other than the beautiful redhead following me back to the house in her car. He’s double the fool for getting someone else pregnant when he could have kids with his wife. What a fucking schmuck.

But his schmucky-ness might be my luck.

Still, I warn myself not to get wrapped up in Scarlett. Do not get ahead of yourself. Helping her out with living arrangements is not a promise of forever. If I happen to be the father, we can tackle what that means next. I don’t need to marry her.

When we finally return to my house, we each park next to one another, and I quickly jump out of my truck, heading for the bed to gather Scarlett’s things. Her car is a flashy, sporty thing, and I don’t know how she got her three suitcases inside it in the first place. The three cases weren’t light, and I surmise she owns more than these belongings. She strikes me as the type to have a closet the size of a small bedroom full of clothes and shoes. The fancy car hints at such a thing as do the designer bags in the back of my truck.

Why would she want to stay with a man like me anyway?

“I got it,” I say, more aggressive than necessary when Scarlett meets me at my tailgate. I tug each suitcase forward, recognizing the tension in my words comes from a sudden fear. She could leave. She could decide she doesn’t like me or learn he’s the father and return to him. She could walk away like all the rest of the women in my life have.

I’m not some self-deprecating sap. I know my assets. I’m dedicated to a fault and loyal despite everything. I’m openhearted, and that shit gets me in trouble too often.

I will not be falling in love with Scarlett.

It’d be easy to do and stupid of me. I’ve learned my lesson. Then again, I’ve had some time to reflect on my past mistakes and learn how each one of them wasn’t love. At least, not the long-lasting kind of love I wanted to have like my grandparents and parents did. I’m a love fast, learn later, kind of guy, and it has bit me in the ass too many times. It won’t happen again.

Scarlett heads to her car for a laptop bag and her purse. Then I point the way forward and follow her as she walks up the short path to the porch. The lights are on in my house, welcoming us home.

Could Scarlett see this place as a permanent home for her?