Page 53 of Cowboy

“And he will, in time.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

Rita pauses, looking at me over the worn-wood table. “You said he wants to be the baby’s dad. He doesn’t care about the label of biological father, right?”

“Yes.”

“Then Bull will come around.”

For Sprout. Not necessarily for me, but for the baby. Everything for the baby. I should make a plan in case Bull does want me to leave. I could do this on my own. Plenty of women are successful single mothers. I’d dealt with Lex’s daily tantrums, Shelton’s needy behaviors, and the whims of superstars. I should be able to wrap my head around raising a baby alone.

Only I don’t want to be alone, and I don’t want to leave Bull. I want to be with him. Plus, if I leave, then I really am like the other women in his life. I’ll have left behind a good, kind, decent man who wants to be good, kind, and decent to my baby. I owe him. He deserves to see that one woman has staying power, and that person is me. Like I told him earlier, he needs faith that I won’t go anywhere unless he asks me to leave. It’s his choice.

Bull would be the father of my dreams to my child, and maybe one day, he could open that big heart of his to me. If only he could forgive me and give me a chance to prove to him that I’d be here for him like he’s been for me. I love him, dammit. Oh, my goodness. I’m in love with Bull.

However, I cannot settle for less than him loving me. I’ve already done that with Shelton. Still, I don’t want to give up what Bull and I already have, what he’s already given me, even if it is only a sliver of who I know he can be.

Our burgers arrive and true to their reputation, they are large, juicy looking, and smell delicious. In addition, a side of greasy, salty fries that would make me retain water and my ankles swell fill a plate between Rita and me, and I am going to devour every bite. Picking up the heavy burger, I moan around the first taste. It’s grilled perfection, or maybe I was just that hungry.

After leaving the farm this morning, I’d spent time at the tractor supply shop, purchasing flowerpots, an array of mid-summer flowers, and wrought-iron hurricane candleholders. With tips from the service clerk in the garden department, I filled three pots to overflow with red geraniums, blue salvia, and something dainty and yellow I couldn’t recall the name of. Pregnancy brain. I arranged the two candleholders, filling the bottom with sand and adding a thick pillar candle to each. The final touch was a welcome sign. The inside of Bull’s home was homey, but the outside needed to say come in and stay a while.

I wanted to brighten Bull’s day—and every day ending in day—when he returned to his house to find the new things decorating his porch. It wasn’t a gesture of apology as much as a statement. I wanted to stay a little longer.

“The offer still stands for you to move in with me if you need.” Rita has been generous with the suggestion, but I don’t want to walk away from Bull. If he wants me to leave, that’s a different story, but I want to stick it out with him as partners, like he said. Although I’m beginning to hate that word.

I also owe it to his entire family to face them and their farm. The first place I felt I could do better was learning more about the dairy.

“Well, look what the cows brought home,” Rita teases, and I turn in the booth to see Canyon and Blade enter after a set of women. I swallow the bite of burger, now a lump in my throat, and turn back to Rita.

“Excuse me a second,” I say, sliding out of the booth. The women have gone left, making it clear they didn’t enter with the brothers, who only held the door open for them. When I approach the younger Eatons, they still, crossing their arms and spreading their legs as if they are taking a stance and blocking my exit. The position is similar to bodyguards I’ve had to talk my way through in order to get into a club and scope out who was hanging out with whom inside. But I’m not that person anymore.

“Hi, guys.” I give them a weak wave. “Can I buy you guys a beer or dinner maybe?” I point toward Rita. “My friend and I are just having a burger.”

Blade doesn’t say anything while Canyon takes a second to assess me. “You doing okay, Scarlett? Feeling okay?” His eyes lower for my belly, and my hand falls there out of habit.

“I’m good, Canyon. Thanks for asking.” I peer around him, obviously looking for the third part of this brother trio. He couldn’t be home waiting on me, could he?

As I glance around Blade, he shifts right, preventing me from seeing the door.

“What . . .” the frick is this?

“How about that beer, Scarlett?” Blade asks, his voice straining as though he’s protecting something or rather someone.

“Sure,” I say, dragging out the word. “Join Rita and me.” I step aside so Blade can pass me, and as he moves forward, I slip behind him, heading out the front door of the Goat, and find Bull in the parking lot in Louisa Miller’s arms.

17

Stood up

Bull

I’m so tired.

It’s been a long day after fighting with Scarlett, fixing fences, and reflecting on my dad’s advice, and the last thing I wanted to do was go out for a beer. In fact, I’d been hoping to sit at home and wait on Scarlett. She’d obviously been back as my front porch was decorated like something out of a home and garden magazine. Flowerpots. Candleholders. A welcome sign. The burst of color was all Scarlett, and my insides did a little line dance of relief.

“She planted flowers.” Canyon clarified after picking me up and taking an appraising look at my front porch.

“Well, she put them in pots.”