Page 76 of Cowboy

“What does this mean?” My tone is harsh, although I don’t mean it to be. I’m on edge myself lately. It’s getting harder and harder to fight my feelings, especially after a wild night like last night where we celebrated my birthday in our own manner, and then Scarlett presented me with a telescope to see the moon.

It’s a Celestron brand PowerSeeker worth almost four hundred dollars.

“I had a telescope as I kid, but I haven’t used it in ages,” I’d told her.

“Well, it’s time to start moon gazing again. You’ll need to teach Sprout everything,” she’d said. I explain to her how the moon dictates almost as much as the sun for farming, and as Sprout is the future of this land, she wants him to know everything.

“It means you should ask for more information before snooping on my phone,” she sasses back, and while most days I love it, I don’t appreciate it today.

“I thought that’s what I was doing. I’m asking what does this mean?” Anger fills my voice. “Are you looking for another job?” The thought hits me like a whack-a-mole machine.

How could she do this to us? Isn’t what we have enough? I thought we’d gotten to a point where we were settled into who we are and who we will be as Sprout’s parents. We’d come to an agreement that Scarlett would stay home and mother our child. It’s a big change for her, I understand, but she won’t be alone. It takes a village, and she’ll have the entire family helping her with our baby. How could I be so stupid? Of course, she wouldn’t be happy just being a mother. The farm would never be enough for her.

“And what if I did want another job working someday?” Them’s fighting words in her tone, and I don’t blame her. I’m looking for a fight for some reason.

“Reporting again?” I sneer as I wave out at her phone. My voice rises. With my broad shoulders set, I glare at her. “We made promises to each other.” She wasn’t going to work for them again, but what have I promised her? I’m here for her day in and day out. What more could she want from me?

As she stares up at me, Scarlett’s face blanches, reading the questions in my own expression. I just want her to tell me the truth. Why is her former boss contacting her? What does she want with them? Obviously, a job, more opportunity, a return to the city life.

“I’m not . . .” she quietly admits. “I just . . . have something to discuss with him.”

“What?” I snap.

We’ve been together all these months. I don’t have a reason to feel the way I’m suddenly feeling, but still, I can’t seem to help it. My chest constricts, and suspicions race.

“It’s nothing. It’s not a job or anything like that,” she states. What else could her former boss offer her, though? Turning away from me, she stares outside the window.

“Is being here not enough?” Scarlett flinches as if the words cut. I was so close to opening up to her, telling her how I felt. We made love last night before the fireplace in the coolness of an October evening and in celebration of my birthday. I want to slap myself in relief that I hadn’t told her how I feel. I’m grateful I haven’t admitted I love her, so at least I can keep my dignity if she decides to leave.

“You know that’s not it. I asked you to have faith in me. Have I not proven myself to you?” Frustration fills her voice.

Now would be the time for me to offer her reassurance. Perhaps if I opened up, she’d know the truth. I love her, and I don’t want her to go anywhere. We can find her other work in Vermont. She can return to the Busy Bean if she wants, or whatever she feels she needs to do to keep her here.

Instead, my feelings seize up. My mouth opens but quickly shuts. Without another word, I turn on my heels and head to the barn.

25

Investigative Reports

Scarlett

I’m so sorry Bull misunderstood my text, but I can’t tell him yet what I’ve been doing. Deep down, I still felt sick about the Bovine Bridegroom scandal and wanted to make things right by Bull and his family. Mainly, I wanted Bull to know how the network got such a story in the first place. What drew our attention to it? Who passed it on to us? Lex wasn’t as helpful as I thought he could be, but when I reminded him I could sue the network for age discrimination, he was willing to give me the favor he owed me.

“We can have a crew there in two days. In and out.”

“Perfect.” It had to work.

“You know, we really do miss you around here,” Lex stated, his voice dropping just enough I might believe he’s sincere.

“Funny, I haven’t missed you,” I teased.

“You’ll always miss me, Red,” he joked. I worked with the man for twenty years. He was my work-husband as labels go, yet he dumped me as easily as my true-husband did.

“I appreciate this, Lex.”

“Anything for you,” he lied.

No, I’d be doing everything for Bull.