Page 65 of Studfinder

“I don’t know yet,” I state, turning back to Nolan. “But I need to do something for myself.”

Rita appears at the building site the next day, and I’m counting the minutes until the weekend. I need time away from everywhere and everything. If this had been a normal job, I’d have called in sick, but I can’t. I keep to myself, ignoring Rita, which is difficult in the small house. The project is nearing its end ahead of schedule.

As Rita slips into the newly laid out kitchen, I step out the back door and round the house for the front yard. I’ve been tiling the backsplash but need air. Standing beside my truck, I take deep, gulping breaths, hanging onto the edge of the bed. Just having Rita in the same room sets my heart racing, and a cold sweat running over my skin. I want to throttle her while wanting to pull her to me.

Despite the crunch of gravel near me, I don’t look up but keep my head between my outstretched arms.

“I wanted to apologize.” Rita pauses. “I thought I could help.”

Slowly, I lift my head but look over the truck bed instead of directly at her. “What’s that saying? You were out of line, counselor.”

No sound comes from Rita, not a snort or a laugh, so I turn to face her, finding her sad. She’s almost as sad as when she learned the truth about me, or what she thought was the truth. Either way, I’ll always have a connection to her beloved’s death. It wasn’t me, but it was my brother who took that man from her.

“He should pay somehow,” Rita states.

“That isn’t your decision. He’s my brother.” My voice rises, and Rita turns her head. “I could never turn him in. He’s in a wheelchair, for God’s sake. He’s suffered enough.”

“Has he?” Rita asks, turning her attention back to me.

“This isn’t like you, sweet.” Her nickname comes out bitter on my tongue. “You aren’t vengeful like this.”

Rita shakes her head. “It wasn’t about Nolan. It was about you.”

I nod because deep down inside, I know.

“I want you to be free of the constraint you feel. Be free to do as you please.” She swallows, and I visibly see her throat roll. “Be free to move about the country at will. That’s what you want, right? You want to leave this all behind.” She waves out a hand, implying the build.

“I don’t know what I want, Rita.” She flinches at the harshness in my voice, but I’m still upset. “You should have spoken to me, not tried to ambush me. Or Nolan.”

“I tried to call you.” She pauses. “And would you have listened? I got the message loud and clear the other morning.”

I could argue that I wasn’t brushing her off. I was separating myself from her. I needed to let her go. We weren’t going to be good together. My brother would always be between us. Rita had loved someone else, and she wasn’t going to get over him for someone like me, with connections to his death. Nolan would be a barrier between us.

“I don’t need your help.”

Rita rolls her lips inward and turns her cheek to me. “Fine.” Her arms flap outward, and she slaps her hands to her thighs. A slow second passes before she turns back to me. “Fine. But you have a job to complete here. Once it’s done, we can move you to another location, away from here, to complete the remainder of the months on your parole. I won’t be a supervisor on that site. I’m taking over the directorship role.”

In all the chaos, Rita hadn’t told me.

“Congratulations,” I say, finally looking over at her in her jeans and Building Buddies T-shirt. Seeing her hurts for all she could have meant to me and all she does. As I told her, she’s the best of women and maybe under different circumstances, I could admit I’d fallen in love with her.

Staring at her, I swallow my pride as I do need her help in a certain matter. “I would like to ask a favor.”

Rita straightens.

“I want you to give Nolan a job somehow. He needs this restorative justice program. I demanded he seek therapy, and he needs something constructive to do for redemption.”

Rita’s mouth falls open but then shuts. Her arms cross over her middle, and she looks away from me, then back. It’s comical to watch her arguing with herself in her head. She’s cute, but I fight the urge to laugh. I hate how once she’s in my presence, my attraction to her is just as strong as ever. I’ve stewed for days and had the past twenty-four hours to be really angry with her, but seeing her fight control of herself, I want to wrap her in my arms and kiss her senseless.

But I won’t.

“I’ll see what I can do. I’m not certain how to go about finding him something without explaining his guilt, though.”

“Try. Trying is all I can ask. At this point, we’ve all suffered enough, Rita. It’s time we each move on as best we can.”

Without another word, Rita turns on her heels and leaves me still gripping the edge of my truck. I hadn’t realized how hard I was holding back from reaching for her until my fingers ache as I peel them back from curling against the metal.

Suddenly, she spins back to face me, and I still, afraid I will reach for her after all.