Page 70 of Loving at 40

[Archer]

I had two choices earlier that night—get on the boat or not—and only one real decision: get Viviana away from Jenna. Viviana wasn’t my concern, but if I didn’t follow her, she’d always haunt me. And if I didn’t remove her from Jenna, the woman who was my home was in danger.

Viviana had a jealous streak like none I’d seen before. She’d overreact to any woman looking in my direction. A woman spoke to me, and Viviana hung on me like Christmas lights on a tree. A woman got too close, and Vi was in her face. She’d slapped, snapped, and hissed at other women, pissing around me like some cavewoman.

And she loved to flip the jealousy card when I didn’t react half as strongly as her. She’d flaunt. She’d tease. She’d act extreme by kissing a guy in front of me or grinding up against someone as if that would hurt me. All head games. All things I struggled to keep compartmentalized inside me.

Fake. Real.

Five years of pretending I loved this woman.

If I went on the boat, I was dead. I had no protection other than my fists and my dick, which wasn’t going near her again. My gun was still locked in the safe at the cottage, and I wouldn’t be returning to there. I couldn’t risk Viviana following me.

Instead, I led her to the small craft that would ferry her out to the large yacht on the lake. I should have trusted the unsettled feeling I had when I first saw that boat. When my first thought was Vi. My instincts have saved me before, but Jenna . . . she’s fogging everything up. Making me question everything, making me want things I never thought I’d want. She’s been distracting, but I love it.

Viviana, though? Why here? Why now? The Quinteros liked to keep moving; this much is true. Nevada. Colorado. Florida. New York. And that only covered the United States. They had property in Colombia, Spain, and an island off Brazil.

“Come with me, baby,” she cooed, curling her fingers into my shirt. Her overpriced perfume burned the inside of my nose.

“Not a chance, Vi,” I bitterly replied, pressing my hands to her shoulders. We both knew this new game. I couldn’t go with her. She shouldn’t be near me.

“What’s going to happen then?” she pouted, her voice dropping to a tone I recognized but one she rarely used. Viviana was hardly ever sincere, and she was never scared, but she’d been frightened that night. The night of our engagement party when someone exposed who I was.

“He’s DEA.”

I shot her father in self-defense. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes. The question on her face. Why? How?

Then she laid out the truth.“You are a despicable human. No one will ever love you.”

She wasn’t wrong. For five years, I’d played her to get close to her father. I’d done things I wasn’t proud of that I’d have to live with for the remainder of my life. Those actions did make me a poor excuse for a man, but I did them as my duty.

Then she shot me, narrowly missing my dick, which I’m certain wasn’t her intention. She wanted to blow my balls to smithereens. Instead, her aim came just shy of an artery that would have killed me.

There had always been a conflict for me with Vi. I could have brought her out of the life, put her in the witness protection program, given her a new identity, and kept her safe and out of the drug industry. I might have even married her as penance, giving her a different life and making amends for how I’d treated her. But I couldn’t afford her lifestyle, and I couldn’t keep all the promises I’d made her. I didn’t love her.

I loved someone else.

“You’re going to get on that boat and disappear,” I warned Vi.

“And you’ll just make a call as soon as I leave,” she told me. “Which is why you’re coming with me, mi corazón.” My heart. Sarcasm filled her voice.

The click of a gun behind my head held me in place. I could have taken out the man, but what would I do with Viviana? I couldn’t let her get away. I didn’t want to ever see her again. I also didn’t want her to keep ruining my life. The department wanted me to go into the witness protection program. New identity. New location. New life. I’d been away from the real me for so long I refused. Being Archer McCaryn would be my new identity. Lakeside was my new location, although it was now compromised. Jenna and two little princesses were my shot at a new life.

“Babe.” The term tasted bitter on my lips. I didn’t have to see Jenna’s face to know it hurt her to hear me use that endearment with someone else, but I had to get Vi away from her. Now I needed to get away from Viviana.

She tipped up on her toes, already matching my height in her heels, and bit the corner of my lip. Not a kiss. Nothing tender. Just a sharp bite that had me retracting and struggling not to react. I fisted my hands at my sides. I’d never hit her. I’d wanted to strangle her, but I’d never touched her like that. She’d provoke me. She’d push me, but I’d never respond. Her punishment came in the form of smacking her ass or spanking her other places. She liked that.

“Follow me like the bad little puppy I know you can be.” My bicep was gripped by her newest boy toy, but I shrugged him off, acting as if I’d go willingly. I didn’t have a gun, and while I could use my fist, I didn’t trust that Vi didn’t have a gun waiting to finish what she started.

And I hated her like I always had. “Vi, you’re making a mistake.”

“No, my darling DEA agent, you made one when you thought you could fuck me and tell me you loved me and walk away.”

Her lackey pushed me, and I dropped into the small dinghy. I needed to think. I had to get a message to Braxton. I had to get myself out of this mess, but most of all, I needed to bring Viviana in.

As old habits died hard, I held up a hand to help Vi into the wobbly craft. She refused my offer.

“I hate you, and now, you’re going to learn how much.”