Page 83 of Loving at 40

“Hello Diet Coke commercial,” Tricia Ramirez mutters under her breath at the same time, and I twist in my seat to find Archer holding Rosie’s hand and standing just within the teachers’ lunchroom door.

“You know we can’t just let anyone in here,” Dani, the school secretary teases. “But he had this adorable little lady with him, so I knew he must be okay.” She winks at me and then turns starry eyes on the man holding a sack in his hand.

“I brought you lunch.” He isn’t even fazed by the googly eyes these women are giving him or the sound of ovaries popping from each one of them as they take in his large stature, wearing a suede, Sherpa-collared jacket while holding the hand of my small child.

Slowly, I rise, ignoring the pizza slice with canned pears I purchased for my lunch.

“What are you doing here?” I ask, unable to fight the smile on my face and already forgetting that he just said he brought me lunch. My eyes fall to the bag in his hand, and then I reach for Rosie.

“Hey, baby.” I press a kiss to her cheek as I lift her but keep my eyes on Archer. “Maybe we should go to my classroom.” I typically eat in the lunchroom because just like my students, lunch is one of my favorite times of the day. Also like my students, I get the laugh I desperately need from my hilarious teacher friends. Feeling the eyes on my back, I already know they have tons of questions about the mystery man looking like a model who just stepped out of a glossy catalog. I haven’t told anyone about Archer.

However, Tricia is one of my closest friends, and she knew something was weighing on me when the school year began. Just like I had known something wasn’t right in her first marriage years ago. She didn’t question me, though. What could I say? I had a fling, but now he was gone. And I had no idea where he went.

Placing my hand on Archer’s shoulder, I turn him away from the ladies still drooling over him and lead him to my second-floor classroom. Dani is correct. We don’t just let anyone into schools anymore, but seeing Rosie with Archer had to prove he knew me. Still, I’m curious.

“How did you get past security?”

Archer remains dumbfounded. “I just told them I was bringing you lunch.”

Rosie interjects. “We wanted to surprise you.”

“You did surprise me,” I say, rubbing my nose against her cheek. I miss the girls during the day, but I need to work, and we all need a break from one another. I’ve had to learn to prioritize, and I’ve become more efficient than in my early days of teaching. Work stays at work. My home life is devoted to my girls. “So what did you bring me?”

I only get thirty minutes, and I’m down to about twenty.

“I didn’t know what you’d want, but Rosie said peanut butter works. I threw in an apple as you are a teacher.” He winks.

His rough voice sends a thrill down my spine, and I’d love to be anywhere but this classroom right now. I recall our sleeping position for the past few nights. How we cling to one another, and he nuzzles into my neck. How his heart beats in his chest, and he covers mine with that large palm of his, reminding us both we are alive.

My feelings for Archer are all over the place, and I’ve never felt so conflicted about anyone. I want to be mad at him for his disappearance, but I understand he did it to protect me. While I don’t understand the depth of his work, I realize he couldn’t follow me when he needed to apprehend her. He had a role to play. But was the role over? When would the next mission begin? I couldn’t be a layover for him before he had to be involved with another woman. The thought of him sleeping with someone else, even if just seducing them for information, made me feel sick.

A hand on the back of my head has me looking up at him. “Hey.”

“Hey,” I whisper, realizing I’d zoned out a bit.

“We also gave you one crunchy,” Rosie adds.

“Oh, yeah. What’s my crunchy?” I tease, rubbing my nose into her neck.

“Chips.” She squeals as I pepper her with kisses.

“I love chips.”

I glance back over at Archer, who is watching me with Rosie, and there’s something in his eyes. Then he smiles, scattering my attempts to read him. His lip slowly curls at one corner before rising on the other, and it’s like he’s undressing me right here in my classroom. I want him to lay me back on my desk, which are not thoughts I need in my head if I’m going to teach for the remainder of the day.

“So. Lunch.” I squeak and then clear my throat. “I don’t have much time.” I set Rosie on her feet and open the bag Archer set on the corner of my desk. Rosie climbs into my chair, and I open the bag of chips and hand it to her.

“They don’t know anything about me, do they?” Archer asks.

“Nope.” My teeth bite into the sandwich he brought me, and I chew it with thoughts of taking him into my mouth. I want his lips. I want his skin.

“Gonna change that,” he tells me. It’s not a warning or a threat. It’s the truth. “I told you. Not pretending. I’m not undercover or hiding in the dark. I’m here.” He pats his chest.

“How long are you sticking around, though, Archer?” I hate that I ask. I even hate my tone in asking, but he hasn’t mentioned what’s next. Only what happened in the past.

“I told you to give me a month.”

“No, I mean, when is your next job? When do you leave for it?”