Page 68 of Hauling Ashe

Mae stares up at me. Her mouth falls open and then snaps shut.

“Not getting rid of me yet, sunshine,” I warn, attempting to keep my voice light. Don’t say this is the end. “What were your plans for tonight?”

“I told you my brother has a place here. I was going to stay in his condo for a few days.” The few days is news to me, but good news all the same.

“Come with me to Julia’s wedding,” I blurt.

“What?” Her forehead furrows.

“Come with me. Meet my kids. Be my date for the wedding this weekend.” We can work out later how we will fill every weekend after that.

“You just want a ride to Napa,” she jests lacking humor, her shoulders falling within my embrace.

“I do.” I admit. “But I’m also not ready to say goodbye. Spend the day with me tomorrow. We can do anything you want. We can go to the observatory or tour Hollywood. We can lounge at the beach. Anything that doesn’t involve riding in a damn car.” And allows me to touch her all day, freely, continually. I rub both hands up her back and press her tighter against me.

“Let me stay the night with you and spend the days with me,” I plead. I’m almost begging, and I’m not opposed to getting down on my knees if I need to. I’m not ready to give her up.

With a slow jostle of her head, Mae grins and that’s my answer. I’m so relieved I kiss her with everything I can against the post that marks the end.

Only, I want this to be a new beginning.

32

Playlist: “Wildest Dreams” – Taylor Swift

[Mae]

We eat a late dinner at an overpriced seafood place near the pier. Then we return to the beach, lay out the blanket from Louie, and watch the sunset. All around us I notice people stopping to pay homage to the glory of the sun dipping toward the ocean. It’s a beautiful night.

Tucker and I remain quiet, each lost within our private thoughts. My head is fuzzy with wine and things I don’t want to think about. Tucker lies back on the blanket, a hand behind his head while the other hand absentmindedly rubs at the base of my spine as I sit upright beside him.

We’re at the end of a long journey and it’s been a long day, but it doesn’t feel like the end as much as it did this morning. Maybe I’ve accepted our fate is to part or maybe it’s that he asked for more time. Tomorrow. The wedding. How long will we prolong our goodbye?

As the sun lowers and darkness falls over us like a heavy blanket, Tucker sits upright. Bumping me in the shoulder, I glance over at him. His face is close and his smile crooked. The creases around his eyes accentuated.

“Kiss me.” His eyes hold mine and I smile. “Kiss me like you’ll miss me, Mae.”

Twisting, I clamp my hands on his scruffy jaw and devour his mouth. I pour everything into that kiss because I will miss him. I will miss this trip and his presence. I will miss his mouth and his crooked smile. His laugh and the teasing shake of his head when I’ve gotten excited over the simplest sight along the way. I’ll miss the sweetness of a potted geranium and the chivalry of diner dinners.

I kiss him with a road map of memories that will never leave me and yet reflecting on them will never do the recollections justice.

The reality of Tucker is what I want. His touch. His presence in my life. Just him.

My wishes scatter, though, when he tips me backward, positioning his body partially over mine, and we make out on a public beach as the sun sets on our adventure.

+ + +

“This is some place,” Tucker states as we enter Garrett’s condo along the beach, north of Santa Monica. My brother has lived in California since he left home after college, but I haven’t been to this specific location.

“Garrett’s rich.” There’s no reason to sugarcoat his financial status. He owns an investment company. He’s like Shark Tank, the television program where investors agree to take on new products or put capital into existing companies to help them level up. Garrett is always investing in things to either grow them or dump them until the next investment comes along. “Denton Chance lived across the hall for years.”

Tucker stares at me as we stand on either side of the large kitchen island that separates the modernized kitchen from a sitting area. A large sliding glass door and balcony are beside the living room portion. The view will be breathtaking in the morning when we can see the ocean.

Eventually, Tucker shakes his head. “I still can’t believe how small the world is.” He lightly chuckles referencing my connection to his former band member. “And your brother left here for Blue Ridge to build a winery.”

“He left for Dolores. He made a sacrifice.” It’s called love. I don’t need to repeat my words from when Tucker and I argued. However, I feel the need to defend my brother’s actions. He gave up this place in order to fill his heart. And he didn’t leave it. He still owns the condo, renting it out on occasion, keeping it available at other times.

“I didn’t mean anything by that,” Tucker defends in return and my shoulders fall.