Page 128 of Letting Go at 40

“You’re making everyone uncomfortable.” Her arms lower, hands curling into fists at her sides.

“Uncomfortable?” I huff. “Uncomfortable would be wearing that dress without your underwear. What’s happening here is . . . I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Is that what you want?” She tilts her head. “Do you need me to take off my underwear?” She loses the battle with a flirtatious smile, but I’m too wound up to respond.

“I don’t want sex with you, Anna.”

The smile melts from her face. Gone is any teasing like an eraser over an old chalkboard.

“That’s not what I meant.” I sigh.

“We need to talk but now isn’t the time,” she whispers.

“Time.” A bitter laugh fills my throat. “That’s all I’ve been giving is time.”

“Time for what?” She tilts her head again.

“Time to grieve. Time to heal. Time to love me.” Our eyes lock on each other. “I fucking love you, Anna.”

The words rip from my throat. I feel like I’ve sliced open my chest and tossed my most vital organ at her feet. My heart throbs, hammering so hard I can hardly breathe.

Anna watches me for the longest seconds of my life. “I love you, too.”

I don’t know who moves first but we’re on one another in a heartbeat. Lips on lips. Fingers in her hair. Her hands clutch my shirt. Our bodies are pressed together as if molded for one another. Perfect pieces. Gears that make a machine work. Or puzzle forms that click.

“You’re killing me with him,” I say as I take her lip and nip her hard.

“I’m not with him.” The responding tug of my lip is just as pinching.

“God, I want to lay you out in this room and fuck some sense into both of us.”

“Do it.” Her command stops us both. Clutching her head between my hands, we stare at one another, breathing hard, chests heaving.

“You don’t mean that.” While she’s been adventurous in bed, she’d never let me have her with a party outside the house.

“Then tonight. In my room.” She focuses on my eyes, pinning me in place.

Does she mean it?

“When the party is over. I want you in my bed.”

Hot damn. When did my quiet girlfriend become so domineering? And who knew I’d like it so much?

“You better keep those panties intact, sweetheart, because once they’re off, you’re mine.”

“I’m already yours, so stop acting like you want to cut off heads.” She does a poor imitation of a Cockney accent, but she’s so fucking cute.

Laughter fills my throat and I kiss her once more, long and hard and making my mark. She sheepishly smiles as she pulls away.

“Did we really just say that to one another?” She might need to pinch me again above the elbow.

“We did. And I mean it.” She stares up at me while smoothing down my shirt. “I love you.”

Chewing on my lower lip, I feel like a giddy teen.

“I love you, too, beautiful.”

Chapter 45