Page 135 of Letting Go at 40

“A post-it note was on the outside of that. It said, if you found this, you’re ready.” She shrugs but her eyes don’t leave the small shape between my fingers. “A heart shaped rock was on top of it.”

For a moment, I worry that Anna thinks I had something to do with this. Or even that I copied Ben in finding rocks all over this beach for her.

“The rock was perfectly shaped and evenly polished. He’d obviously bought it at a store.” She smiles like she knows a secret to his decision and there is a private meaning to that polished stone.

“Read it.” She nods at the envelope.

“Are you sure?” I’ll admit curiosity has the best of me, but she can keep her thoughts and memories about Ben. She doesn’t need to share them all with me.

As she’s leaning toward me, she bumps into my shoulder to encourage me. I flip open the flap and slide a single cardstock rectangle out of its holder.

Live every moment, Anna.

Find love. Learn lessons. Accept loss.

Then do it all over again.

Be happy and well, my heart.

“The rock seems symbolic. Ben was polished while you’re a little rough around the edges.”

My head shoots up and I stare at her over my shoulder. Her smile suggests she’s teasing me and doesn’t mind the difference.

“Ben was one in a million.” Her voice drops but her eyes don’t leave mine. “But you’re a million in one.” Anna licks her lips. “And I’m lucky to have you both love me and to have loved . . . well, currently love . . .” She tips her head. “You both.”

I slip the note back in the envelope and hold it out to her. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”

Anna tucks it into the back pocket of her shorts and I continue. “You know, you can talk about him with me. Tell me things. Share your feelings. I’m going to listen and understand. Anytime.”

“I know.” She looks back up at me, giving me another timid smile, before wrapping both her arms around mine and placing her head on my shoulder. “That’s one of those million reasons why I love you so much.”

I kiss the top of her head and gaze across the fire.

Zack’s eyes meet mine first. He smiles, tipping his head. He’s been happy for me. For us.

I glance at Logan next, who wiggles his brows while holding his baby girl to his chest. He gives me a thumbs up.

These men are my best friends. The brothers I never had. They are my family along with the woman beside me and our kids.

And together, life goes on.

Epilogue

Present Day

September

On The Beach

[Anna]

“Hey you. What are you doing down here?” I find Mason standing on the beach facing the lake.

It’s the first weekend in September. A time when summer ends and fall unofficially begins. A new season is about to start.

Mason’s been quiet the past week or so. The night of the bonfire we made love again, similar to the night of Archer’s wedding. Something more was happening between us.

Having Mason move into the house permanently and into my bedroom didn’t feel as daunting as I thought it would be with the kids.