Page 86 of Parentmoon

We sit in silence a long minute, while I take a drink, wondering what to say. As my own marriage fell apart, I’m not certain I have words of wisdom for Michael other than to love Keli. However, I want Michael to remember he deserves love in return.

Michael chuckles under his breath. “Just say it.”

“Say what?” I lower my glass, staring down at the empty container in my hand.

“Whatever is on your mind. Just get it out.”

My laugh is completely humorless. “You certainly know me well.” There might not be anyone who knows me half as well as Michael. Dallas certainly seems to interpret me, though. Maybe he’d know better what to say to Michael. Sort of man-to-man, the night before a wedding.

“I just want to make certain you’re happy. That you aren’t rushing back into marrying each other because of the baby.”

I never, ever faulted Michael’s birth as bringing Craig and I together, but Craig did. He’d make inappropriate jokes that I’d never found funny. As if Michael had decided that Craig and I marry. As if he were to blame somehow. But Craig and I were the ones who were pregnant too young before marriage.

“Mom,” Michael drones in that tone that tells me he’s over it. Over me asking. Over me worrying.

“Tell me what you love about Keli.”

With his head on the back of the couch, Michael rolls it in my direction.

“She’s smart and funny. Sarcastic even.” He chuckles to himself and turns to stare up at the ceiling. “She’s strong-willed but levelheaded at the same time. She knows who she is and who she wants to be.”

He faces me again. “She loves me. And that’s actually one thing I love most about her. She gets me and she loves me.” He lifts his head, pointing at his chest.

“Who wouldn’t?” I tease, keeping my voice quiet.

“In many ways, she reminds me of you. Getting things done. Wanting the best for others. She’s going to be a great mom.”

A sudden burn in my eyes has me blinking. My nose wrinkles as if that will help prevent tears. I don’t want to cry anymore in front of my son. I’m happy for him.

“Why do you think she loves you?”

Michael snorts. “Because I don’t tell her yes to everything. But also, because I’m smart and sarcastic.” He chuckles. “She says I’m responsible and traditional, and she likes that I’m a gentleman.”

“You better be,” I snap without any bite.

“Mom. You trained me well.”

The words are nice to hear but I don’t think I can take all the credit for the man my son has become. He’s moved through life at his own pace and done what he’s wanted to do so far. He’s got a huge heart and a kind smile, and I’ve seen evidence that he is a gentleman. Flowers on holidays. Holding doors open. Helping women with strollers. He does those things on his own.

He’s a good man, and I need to trust he’s making the right decision for himself. For his heart. For his future.

“You’re going to be a husband,” I whisper, as if he doesn’t already know.

“And a dad.” His voice is low, but pride fills his tone.

“You’re going to be amazing at both.”

“I hope so. I mean, we can never know for certain, right? But I’m trusting Keli to tell me if I’m out of line at either. And I’m pretty sure you’ll be there to back her up if I fail.”

I chuckle. “Maybe more like lift you up if you fall.” That’s all I can hope to do. Not point out his failures but support him through decisions.

“I’m counting on you to support me,” he says, his voice imparting more meaning than just an occasional word of advice.

“I’ll always be here for you, baby.”

He nods. He has a big day tomorrow and I’m all talked out. There isn’t anything more to do than to look forward.

I stand. “I love you, Michael.”