Page 16 of Grouch-ish

We bought a house that needed work, and I fixed it up which took time, effort, and patience.

We sent our kids to the fancy private school, valuing the education and dismissing the cost, but it didn’t entitle Nick to get a Jeep at sixteen or allow Ellie to own some fancy-schmancy purse and shoes like the other girls.

My kids didn’t complain. Melissa did.

Instead, I tried to be present for my kids. I wanted them to understand working hard and being an honest person paid off, but had I told them often enough how proud I was of them? How Nick was my hero for sticking his ground and sticking up for the underdog at times. Or telling Ellie she wasn’t just the apple of my eye but everything I’d hoped would come to fruition in a daughter of mine. Strong, independent, a smart young woman. Beautiful, both inside and out.

For some reason, canning pears brought it all back to me. Working hard at something simple helped me remember that not everything needed to be bought from a store. Sure, it was easier at times. Maybe even cheaper in some cases. But there was a real sense of accomplishment in creating something from scratch.

I might have made a huge mess in Cap’s kitchen and accepted Pear’s offer to help clean it all up, especially with my hand still stinging, but dammit, it felt good to be productive.

Even if it was Valentine’s Day pears.

Never heard of Valentine pears but I’ll be telling all my friends they need them for their wives and girlfriends.

What said love better than a pear.

+ + +

Slipping into the kitchen, the open concept space is chilly this morning without a blazing fire in the fireplace. Cap’s bedroom had been cool last night but nestled beneath layers of blankets and a thick comforter, I was almost too hot in the middle of the night. I’d slept better than I’d slept in months, maybe years, and I couldn’t explain it because I didn’t like to sleep anywhere but in my own bed.

To my surprise, a bright red mug sits beside the coffee maker which happens to be ON. She didn’t know how to use the machine, my ass.

A note is propped up against a cannister. “Meet me in Dad’s workshop. Second building. Behind the barn.”

A quick glance out the window shows the snow piled up overnight, but a path is formed from the house to the barn.

I don’t like that Paradise has already been up and shoveling snow while I lingered in her dad’s bed staring at a photo of two kids. Assuming the image is Pear and her sister, I don’t recall Cap speaking often about his girls.

Have I not been listening? Have I been that negligent as a co-worker and friend? How did I not know he not only had one daughter but two? Cap lost his wife a long time ago and never remarried.

What was it he said to the guys?

“When you find the one woman that makes you glow inside, every other woman pales in comparison.”

Shaking my head, I chuckle. Never considered Cap romantic.

I glance down at my waiting mug and the coffee dripping into the maker. When was the last time someone had done something that showed they cared about me? I almost laugh at the thought. Then I reconsider. When was the last time I’d done something thoughtful for someone else? And I’m not thinking of Ma or Marnie. But for a woman.

Staring at the coffee maker filling with liquid gold, I search for an answer and come up empty. My chest squeezes at the void.

Pear called me crass yesterday, then a dick. I shouldn’t care what she thinks of me, but I do. I don’t need her to like me, but I don’t want her to think poorly of me either.

It shouldn’t matter.

But it does.

+ + +

I wasn’t surprised to find Pear, as I was planning to call her, in white snow bibs and a white sweatshirt. The ivory-colored knit cap was on her head again, but her hands were busy sanding a spindle-backed bench. Hunched over with her ass in the air, her back is to me as I enter.

“What is all this?” I chuckle, glancing around at the collection of tools, a work bench, and several pieces of furniture in various states of disrepair. A cast-iron, wood-burning stove stands in a corner taking the chill out of the air, but not actually heating the space of this single-story structure that appeared as rundown on the outside as the barn. However, it’s rather cozy inside this space.

Pear lifts her head, her eyes wide. “You really need to come with a warning.”

As she focuses on me, my face heats and I arch a brow. Good to know she finds me attractive. “Oh really?”

“Yeah, a nice set of sleigh bells to let someone know you’re approaching.” She stands upright and faces me.