Page 116 of Sterling Fight

His firefly. Continually leading him from the darkness in his head and reminding him that we are the brightness he seeks.

When he enters through the garage, he’s walking so fast toward his room, he nearly bypasses the great room without a glance in my direction.

He comes to an abrupt halt, does a double take, then circles around the couches. Slowly, I stand, afraid to rush him while desperate to touch him.

Instead, we stand a foot apart.

“Hey.” Judd holds up his right hand in a weak semblance of a wave, and I hold up my left, catching his hand, pressing our palms together.

We stand with our fingers linked, just staring at our hands. His large knuckles are red and swollen. Mine smaller and wearing his mother’s ring.

Slowly, I release his hand and skitter my fingers to the center of his palm, tracing the raised line across his lifeline, easily finding the scar I’d felt on our first day unofficially engaged. “Is this from fighting?” How many wounds on his body are from boxing?

“My dad.”

My gaze leaps to his face. His heavy brows crease. “He warned me that night. The night I took the ring. He’d already gotten his initial hits then cracked a beer bottle against a table and came at me. As much as I tried to hold my ground, as much as I was willing to let him end me.” Judd swallows, the motion harsh. “My hand flung upward to protect me. Flight or fight. My fight had finally kicked in and my hand took the wrath.”

My heart stops. My mouth gapes. “Please don’t ever say you are willing to let someone end you again.” I stare at his face while he glances at his hand, rubbing his thumb on the mark.

His head lifts at my words. The fear in them. The sadness.

I step closer to him and wrap my arms around his waist as if I could hold onto him forever. Be tethered to him. I will not let him drown in the sorrows of his past.

Cautiously, Judd circles his arms around me, and we stand clinging to one another.

“Don’t ask me to stop,” he whispers.

“I won’t.” As much as it pains me, if he needs that boxing ring, I will not stop him. “Just don’t ask me to watch.”

“I won’t.” He presses his lips to the top of my head, and we hold tighter to one another before Judd scoops me up and carries me toward his room.

“Shower,” I suggest, a sudden need to take care of him. Pamper him somehow.

“Two birds, one bird bath?”

I chuckle into his neck. “Something like that.”

“How about an actual bath?”

Judd carries me to his bedroom before setting me on my feet. Next, he steps into the ensuite and starts the water in a soaker tub beside the glassed-in shower. We’ve spent plenty of time together in the shower stall, washing one another and hugging each other. Somehow, a bath feels even more intimate.

When the tub is full, Judd holds out a hand to help me inside, but when I take a seat, I scoot back, and Judd looks confused.

“Let me take care of you tonight.” I spread my knees and motion to the space between my legs.

Judd lowers his head and steps in front of me, then folds down so his body is cradled between my thighs. He leans back, slipping a little lower beneath the water, and tips his head to my shoulder. For a long time, we just sit, while I gently swish water around his chest and over his shoulders. Eventually, I take the soap bar and lather my hands before squeezing tightly at Judd’s shoulders and working down his arms. I use extra care near his knuckles but dig my thumbs into his palms.

Judd hums with every rub.

I press him forward a second to massage along his upper back before pulling him back to my chest.

Re-soaping my hands, I rub over his chest and dive deeper beneath the water, finding him hard and erect. With my hands on his thick length, I work up and down while Judd melts against me, humming and moaning with each tug and squeeze.

Suddenly, he flips to face me, then does a quick acrobatic shift where he’s seated and I’m straddling his lap.

“This is a dangerous position,” I tease him, as my throbbing center lands on his thick length.

Judd presses on my hips, moving me back and forth as his head tips back on the edge of the tub and his eyes close a second. He hums again.