Page 44 of Sterling Fight

I should call after her, but I can’t seem to find my voice. What the hell just happened?

Too quickly, Genie has picked up her coverup and a towel, and she’s thundering down the dock, like kissing me is the last thing she’d wish to happen.

17

[Judd]

As Genie disappears down the dock, I slip beneath the water, needing a moment to cool off and allowing her the space she wants between us.

Eventually, I enter the house, deciding Genie and I should talk. I’d like a shower first, then I’ll seek her out. Once inside my bedroom, my cell phone rings on my nightstand, and I hang my head.

“Hey,” I answer.

“Judd? You okay?” My brother Clay’s concern comes from a good place. He has a large heart. He’s the one credited with being the most intuitive out of our family and he seems to read the room correctly.

“Yeah. Why?” I quietly ask, squinting toward a window.

“You didn’t come in today.”

“I don’t come in most days.” I stop in the Seed & Soil once a week and gather anything I might need, although most things we do are electronic. For the most part, I work from home. I like my solitude, and I’m considered a bit reclusive.

For the past few years, though, I’ve been itching for more. More color. More sound.

In forty-eight hours, Genie has been both of these things.

“Yeah, but you typically pop in on Monday mornings.” He pauses a second. “Just checking in on the newly engaged.”

“We’re . . . good.” I stammer, swiping a hand through my hair.

“Only good?” Clay teases. He’s in his all-in-love era after finally getting the girl he crushed on last fall. His situation was a little more complicated than mine with Genie but no less daunting.

It’s difficult to desire someone who doesn’t reciprocate the feeling. And Genie does not want me.

“No, Genie and I are great.” My voice cracks. I’m not good at lying, or even pretending. We aren’t great, but she’s amazing. She took my apology last night and offered compassion after what happened when we were in high school. When she thought I’d purposely stood her up.

She doesn’t know there’s even more to the story, but what she knows is enough.

“Are you taking today off?” Clay teases while inquisitive.

“What is this? Twenty questions?”

“Nope. Just four.”

“I think you’re only at three,” I correct.

“And that’s why we have you as our accountant. Good with those numbers.”

I scoff.

Clay is amazing with numbers in a different way. Instead of spread sheets, he has spatial vision, like Knox does. Our resident bricklayer makes beautiful patios, and I need to get him over to my place to remove the deck and set a stone patio. However, we rarely make ourselves the priority.

“Math Club paid off for you,” Clay continues.

The memory rushes back to me of how I had to ask Clay to give me every Thursday after school off from working at the Seed & Soil, back when I did grunt work instead of office work.

“Yeah.” I pause a second. “Now, if you don’t need me, I should probably get to work.”

“You know it’s okay to take a day off.”